If you eat Pop Rocks, then drink a whole can of Coke, you'll start belching napalm!
American cheese is made from real Americans
This woman bought a dog in Mexico, and they told her it was a Chihuahua, but when she brought it home, she discovered that in reality it was a wire-haired fox terrier!
After the pet rock fad of the 1970s, thousands of New York mothers flushed the unwanted pets down the toilet and they made their way to the sewers and just kind of sat there, at the bottom, slowly eroding.
I bumped into the optometrist of the wife of an old neighbor of mine and he said that she said that she overheard her local deli owner talking about how people really shouldn't watch football this Sunday. I'm just saying better safe than sorry, right?
If there's an emergency on Death Row - like no electricity or something - some states have pits of hungry tigers as backup.
And best of all:
This buddy of mine who works in San Francisco - he knows this guy who worked for a DotCom company that wrote a business plan, broke even, cut costs, and is on the road to profitability!
George W. Bush does not lie about sex, I suppose--merely about war and peace. Most particularly he has consistently lied about Iraq's nuclear capabilities as well as its missile-delivery capabilities. Take a look at Milbank's gingerly worded page-one October 22 Post story if you doubt me. To cite just two particularly egregious examples, Bush tried to frighten Americans by claiming that Iraq possesses a fleet of unmanned aircraft that could be used "for missions targeting the United States." Previously he insisted that a report by the International Atomic Energy Agency revealed the Iraqis to be "six months away from developing a weapon." Both of these statements are false, but they are working. Nearly three-quarters of Americans surveyed think that Saddam is currently helping Al Qaeda; 71 percent think it is likely he was personally involved in the 9/11 attacks.
Let's deconstruct that, shall we?
Premise: Bush told Americans that Iraq was close to getting a nuclear weapon, and had a fleet of unmanned aircraft.
Conclusion: Therefore, Americans believe that Saddaam is helping Al Qaeda and was personally involved in the 9/11 attacks
Assumption: The American public are drooling idiots who have difficulty understanding the English language in oral or written form, which is why they draw a conclusion from Bush's statement that is, on its face, completely unrelated to the content of the statement
or
The readers of the Nation are drooling idiots who have difficulty understanding the English language in oral or written form, which is why they draw a conclusion from Bush's statement that is, on its face, completely unrelated to the content of the statement. . . which is also why they enjoy reading articles like this one.
Please note that I make no comment on what Bush said, or its veracity. Only Eric Alterman's, which is sadly lacking.
