February 27, 2002
From the desk of Jane Galt:WALL STREET ANALYSTS TOLD Congress
WALL STREET ANALYSTS TOLD Congress they were objective in their assessment of Enron and that the energy company's collapse took them by surprise.
In a related story, Jonathan Hillyard (16) of Ramapo, NJ told his parents, Cindy and Tom, that he had no idea that there was going to be alchohol at that party, and that while he was surprised and shocked to find people drinking when he walked in the door, he had nonetheless stayed so that he could drive home any of his friends should they become intoxicated. Moreover, he stated that he had no idea how marijuana could have found its way into the glove compartment of the family's Ford Expedition, but suggested that perhaps it was his parents fault for failing to lock the car properly each and every time they exited the vehicle. "You can't just blame me for everything that goes wrong," Jonathan was heard to say, as his father lifted him from the ground and hurled him into the car by his ear. "How am I supposed to know?"
Timothy Anderson (15), with whom Jonathan was supposed to be spending the night, could not be reached for comment. However, other students at Ramapo High reported that he had been heard muttering to himself in study hall "It's not my fault he went. . . I wasn't even invited to Claire's stupid friggin' party, now I get all the blame because I didn't tell my friggin' parents. . . like I'm not a big enough dork already. . . " The other students adamantly denied that such goings-on are common, but they did confirm that Timothy Anderson is a pretty big dork.
Posted by Jane Galt at February 27, 2002 5:06 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links