July 27, 2002
From the desk of Jane Galt:Tee-hee! Ted Barlow on how
Tee-hee! Ted Barlow on how Americans rank as tourists.
I had an interesting experience the other day.
Someone in the office said "French people use their forks funny."
And I said, "It's not funny, it's the European way."
My European co-worker said "Thank you! I've been saying for years that Americans use their forks wrong."
Wrong? 'Scuse me? Wrong? My ancestors were using forks when yours were still digging it out of the bowl with their fingers, my little serf. Exactly who are you calling wrong?
Which led, inevitably, to a discussion between the Europeans of the Horror of the American Tourist.
Now first of all, American tourists may have their drawbacks, but at least we don't send out our middle aged men in Speedos or flourescent short-shorts to terrorize the denizens of foreign lands. Nor do we gather our entire tour group 'neath the hotel window at 6 am to sing all 87 verses of the company song before trouping off to photograph every inch of the country, including the public restrooms and highway underpasses. Our sports fans and other assorted loonies do their rioting at home, on their own tax-payer dime, rather than travelling to someone else's home in order to destroy the property of none-to-rich citzens and commit felonious assault upon the native gendarmes. And as for not speaking the language, it isn't American women you find at every local watering hole terrorizing a busboy who speaks no English with the invocation "Excuse me! I need to go to the loo!", repeated louder and slower after each of his attempts to communicate the fact that he doesn't understand a word she's saying.
And second of all, Europeans get no sympathy from me because I have never, ever seen an American, upon finding out that someone to whom they were speaking hailed from another country, say, "Oh, I hate your country!" and regale the guest to our shores with a half-hour litany of why the foreigner's country, culture, and customs are utterly repulsive. Yet I have not only repeatedly met with this treatment on each of my trips to Europe, but also found, when I repeated them to a native of whatever country I was in, that my putative host defended this behavior with some variation on "Well, you have to admit they're right."
I know that some of the more lackwitted and boorish citizens of my country say similar things to some of the guests on our fair soil, but when such incidents are related to a crowd of Americans, the universal, instantaneous reaction is horror. I have never once heard an American say, "Well, you have to admit -- France is a horrible little country and pretty much everyone in it is a cowardly crypto-fascist. Of course, it was very rude to say it like that when you'd only just met. But still, he had a point."
Even more interesting was that when I required my interlocutors to actually list the things that Americans did that were rude, they were either wild exaggerations, or not actually rude. One person mimicked an American sitting in a cafe with his feet on the table, drinking and waving his arms wildly around. But I've been to Europe. I have eaten in cafes there. I have never, ever seen an American walk into a restaurant and put his feet on the table, at home or abroad. My interlocutors had lived here and there for many years; they conceded that perhaps Americans didn't do that, but they did slide down farther in their seats than Europeans, which looks sloppy.
They wear sweatshirts with the names of their colleges on them.
They tip too much.
They talk loudly. Annoying, yes -- but rude? Inconsiderate, if people around you are trying to carry on a conversation. But my interlocutors said that no, the Americans didn't talk so loudly that you couldn't carry on a conversation -- they were just louder than the Euros.
They spend too much money.
They brag.
They don't learn anything about the country they're in and don't speak the language. Except that according to the survey Ted Barlow is talking about, they do. And in my experience, unless the country they're in is England, Spain, Italy, France or Germany, the Europeans don't either. Of course, they may be under the impression that these five are the only other countries.
In short, Americans have a different style. The Euros find that aesthetically displeasing -- I can live with that. I feel the same way about European plumbing. But having a different style is not rude.
Of course, individual Americans are rude. Horribly rude. I know, because all the rude Americans seem to commute to New York n in order to share my subway car each day. But so aren't individual Englishmen, Frenchmen, Germans, Spaniards, Italians, Portuguese, Belgians, etc. etc. etc.
As a group, we're getting a bum rap. And you can have my wardrobe of Univeristy of Pennsylvania athletic gear when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Posted by Jane Galt at July 27, 2002 1:12 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links"); ?>