We are compiling a list of revolutionary movements that will have to change their name if they want to be taken seriously by the world at large. So far LURD, MILF, and UNITA are under consideration. Any other suggestions?
Posted by Jane Galt at August 4, 2003 10:16 AM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound linksELF and ALF (along with their tactics), PETA (are these revolutionary? It seems they do want a revolution of sorts)
Do they have to be current ?
SWAPO sounds more like a kids card game, but then again SWAPO won. As the saying goes, you can't argue with success.
Cheers,
FARC should be at the top of any such list.
Far from revolutionary, but WIPO has always struck me as comical.
ELF sounds like cute little forest creatures that gum up the tires of SUVs.
Second on FARC. Sounds too close to a forceful expulsion of gas.
Doesn't "The Real IRA" sound like the rump of a band that couldn't get rights to the band's name? Kinda like "Creedence Clearwater Revisited"?
> "The Real IRA"
Like "The Real Slim Shady"? And what about the "Provisional IRA". What are they, just placeholders?
Any revolutionary group with a name in French needs to change to a real language. They all sound like Edith Piaf songs.
Blue Dog Democrats. Too inside-baseball. Besides, they should change their name to "Republicans."
From the past: The Molly McGuires.
"Bolshevik" means "Majority". What's the Russian word for "Defunct"?
I don't see why the contest is limited to groups with bad names. What about the revolutionary groups that have particularly good names, like the Polisario Front in the Western Sahara. It rolls off the tongue. PO-LIS-AR-EE-OH.
Hamas - Sounds a bit like a party dip.
Armed Islamic Group (GIA) - Redundant.
Al-Gama'a al-Islamiyya - Sounds like an old Police song from the early 1980s.
Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement (MRTA)- Sounds like a gansta rapper.
If we're going to move on to currencies, can I be the first to mention the Vietnamese Dong?
Sorry, "MILF" - you can't be serious....
Hmm . . .
There's MODEL in Liberia, which proves that armed gang-rapists at least have a sense of humor (cough);
There's also LURD in Liberia, which seems to be an elaborate joke on the part of the rebels -- "we don't need a cool name to rebel!";
MPIGO in Cote d' Ivoire, which, let's face it, sounds like a rebel group Miss Piggy might run;
RENAMO in Mozambique, which sounds like a Latin boy band from the 1980s;
And last but not least, though it's not an acronym, the silliest-sounding rebel group name has to be "Malatian Eagle Force," a rebel faction which operates in the Solomon Islands. They sound like bad GI Joe toy knockoffs.
What about SLORC, the evil criminal government of Burma, that sounds like... an evil criminal government from an Austen Powers movie?
The New Black Panthers. It sounds vaguely like "the Next Generation." Sleeker uniforms and special effects!
Voices in the Wilderness. Unintentionally funny (and descriptive).
CASI (Campaign Against Sanctions on Iraq). Depending on how you pronounce it, it's either the Mudville slugger who biffed when it counted or it sounds like "sassy," enter Phil Hartman; end of seriousness.
NTAC, the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition. With emphasis on the second syllable, guys will immediately think of "Rush'n'Attack." Otherwise it smacks of the latest acronym rapper.
AGOG, a gamblers' self-help league in the Netherlands.
WHAM!, the Women's Health Action & Mobilization, an apparently defunct welfare-rights group. George'll mobilize you, baby.
in the non-radical camp, there's always the wwf. unfortunate co-branding, i guess.
Slorc is now the SPDC - even they realised their name was disturbingly like S.P.E.C.T.R.E or S.M.E.R.S.H. (from Bond and Marvel Comics respectively, I believe) ... and the SPDC is the State Peace and Development Council. Which is Orwellian, of course, because they're really killers and destroyers.
Also, they're not revolutionary - rather they are that which should be revolted against.
Another comically-named group from Burma which is revolutionary is the VBSW - the Vigorous Burmese Student Warriors. Perhaps they attack with slide rules manipulated with great agitation? (actually they took over the Burmese embassy in Bangkok in 1999 and a provincial hospital in 2000, also in Thailand, where nine of them were killed extra-judicially by Thai special forces ...)
Actually, one is from Bond, and the other is apparently from real life but famous because of Bond.
SPECTRE - the Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion - was invented by Fleming for Thunderball
and
Smersh - Smyert Shpionam (or something like that), was invented by Stalin but used by Fleming as an antagonist for Bond. This year marks the 60th anniversary of their founding.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2003/05/29/wsmersh29.xml
http://www.ajb007.co.uk/articles/007/smersharticle
"in the non-radical camp, there's always the wwf. unfortunate co-branding, i guess."
That hasn't been the case for at least a year.
> "The Real IRA"
Otherwise known as "I can't believe it's not the Real IRA".
"Like "The Real Slim Shady"? And what about the "Provisional IRA". What are they, just placeholders?"
The "Provos" were originally a splinter group from the Offical IRA, led by Ruairi O Bradaigh. At that time, the "Official" IRA, after a failed bombing campaign in the early 1960s, turned towards "broad front" political action rather than bombs & shooting (this included the Northern Ireland Civil Rights Association - NICRA).
When the British government sent troops into Northern Ireland in 1968 over, the Provisional IRA stole two rifles and three pistols from the Derry branch of the IRA, and used them to shoot a British soldier on leave. That (and several other incidents) led to 30 years of violence.
The Official IRA (also known as "stickies") and the provos had a very bloody feud in the early 1970s. Part of the Offical IRA split off to form the Irish National Liberation Army (INLA). The remainder of the Official IRA became the Worker's Party, and renounced violence in the early 1980s, after which people started referring to the Provisional IRA as just "the IRA".
The Worker's Party didn't gain much support in Northern Ireland, but they had one or two TDs in the Republic. They merged with the Irish Labour party in the 1990s.
Ironically, the path the Provisionals eventually took was similar to what the Official IRA had advocated in the 1960s. Hence the joke in Northern Ireland: "Q. What's the difference between a provo and a stickie?" "A. About twenty years".
There's a North Korean missile called No-dong. I found that worth a chuckle or two.
Hamas? I was going to say it sounds too much like "llamas" (which any online gamer will quickly understand)
How about MALDEF?
MAL=Bad and DEF = Can't Hear.
And besides a lame name, the organization is pretty ludicrous.
"Actually, one is from Bond, and the other is apparently from real life but famous because of Bond."
Ahhh ... I must have been thinking of HYDRA, which was GI Joe's enemy, right? And who did Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. used to fight?
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