December 10, 2003

silhouette3.JPG From the desk of Jane Galt:

In OLDEN days . . .

Finally, a new government proposal I can really get behind:

Wouldn't it be nice to have a federal Cabinet position entitled Grand Old Man? Qualifications would include longevity, magnanimity, and an acute sense of the way things were. The Grand Old Man could head his own little policy shop, let's say the Office for the Loving Development of Euphoric Nostalgia, or OLDEN. This office would have special enforcement powers like the ability to reinstate the blue laws and revive the sense of a national day of rest and worship. The Grand Old Man could sign into law special injunctions placed on busybodies. He could publicly censure whippersnappers. He could belt-strap politicians on the backside for mistreating a young lady. His office could publish a daily newsletter called "Here Now, Hold Your Horses," which would hold up any new policy proposal to the light of traditions older than the oldest family line. He would meet regularly with heads of state to inquire whether they had purchased flowers or a hat for the Mrs. The Grand Old Man's office would be entrusted with enforcement of decency laws. He would give press conferences that would include some of the following phrases: (some humorous) "Victoria's what?" "Here now, that's bathroom talk." (others tragic and imploring) "How can you let those dear girls do that?" "My wife wept till I got rid of cable."

Posted by Jane Galt at December 10, 2003 6:11 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links
Comments
Posted by: Patti on December 10, 2003 6:17 PM

There's a better-named government position than that, and what's better, it even exists: the Directorate of Time, http://tycho.usno.navy.mil/dt.html

They keep our clocks all running in lockstep.

Posted by: Patti on December 10, 2003 6:19 PM

There's a better-named government position than that, and what's better, it even exists: the Directorate of Time, http://tycho.usno.navy.mil/dt.html

They keep our clocks all running in lockstep.

Posted by: B on December 10, 2003 10:57 PM

So that's what Bill Bennett and Robert Bork have been gunning for all these years.

Posted by: Stephen Green on December 11, 2003 2:01 AM

If the job includes martinis and a big leather chair, then I'll make some phone calls around 2035.

Posted by: Stephen Green on December 11, 2003 2:03 AM

If the job includes martinis and a big leather chair, then I'll make some phone calls around 2035.

Posted by: david on December 11, 2003 4:42 AM

This is a very nice idea. I'm currently unemployed. Can I apply? Unlike Mr. Green, I'll take Guiness in lieu of the martinis, but I would still like the Big Leather Chair. And I am willing to start immediately.

Posted by: Grant Gould on December 11, 2003 7:23 AM

Job requirements include walking all the way to the White House, uphill both ways, in the snow, and we were grateful for it, Mister!
--G

Posted by: Michael Tinkler on December 11, 2003 8:13 AM

*Sigh*. National Review used to stand athwart history and shout. Now it's reduced to "here now..."

Posted by: Ed Reid on December 11, 2003 10:52 AM

Before you guys can compete for the position, someone is going to have to get Bobby Byrd out of the big leather chair.

Posted by: Autumn on December 11, 2003 12:16 PM

In a few years it may be a position occupied by Dick Cheney. I recall a grand commentary that likened the Liberman / Cheney debate to your Dad (Cheney) stitting down with you to go over your grades. He has that sort of measured olden day manner about him.

Posted by: Orbitron on December 11, 2003 2:58 PM

Really hard-hitting stuff, Jane.

Btw, how's that whole Iraq war thing doing? Or have you lost interest?

Posted by: Greg Hill on December 11, 2003 3:37 PM

What's wrong, your free ice cream a little too light and fluffy today? Sheesh. Nobody's forcing you to read this blog, Orbitron.

Posted by: anony-mouse on December 11, 2003 8:03 PM

In OLDEN days, Iraq was a free and prosperous society.

And wait...the the goal right now is to restore that...

Hmm, maybe Rumsfield is vying for The Leather Chair?

Posted by: Thorley Winston on December 12, 2003 10:45 AM
In a few years it may be a position occupied by Dick Cheney. I recall a grand commentary that likened the Liberman / Cheney debate to your Dad (Cheney) stitting down with you to go over your grades. He has that sort of measured olden day manner about him.

Cheney’s the father who would go over your grades with you and push you or tutor you to do better while Lieberman was the idiot uncle who would bore you to tears over how “troubled” and “concerned” he is and do nothing useful to improve the situation.

Posted by: Russell on December 13, 2003 10:57 AM

Ah, Orbitron,

I can see meanwhile that you're gunning for "Grand Old Troll." ANd you're well on your way, too.

Posted by: Domenico Schietti on December 13, 2003 4:02 PM

An intelligent Christmas

I would like to remember you that for Christmas make an intelligent present is mandatory.

I would like to remember you that your company may grow up if you promote it doing something good for all.

By the way instead of making silly presents or nothing at all, you can help people spend only few money buying presents in good ethical products made by people of poor countries.

By the way instead of giving a diamond to your wife you can give a surgical operation to a child that absolutely needs it, or a year of scholastic education to a whole children class in India or Africa.

I give you one of the many possible chances that I like, whith no intermediates and wastes: just go to the site of The Shantidhara Social Servcice Society, (click here
http://www.shantidhara.org/) and let you give a school to thousands children with a small donation;

they are used to do everything with only few money.

Here many other ways to start immediately and be useful to everyone: http://www.liberaassociazioneilpopolo.it/inglese/attivazioneimmediata.html

I know problably you know and do these things, but don't be afraid to talk about it with your friends!

So do your own act; because it's easy to talk to stop wars, but where you don't sow love, there is only hate that grows up.

Domenico Schietti
2010 Poverty Elimination
http://www.liberaassociazioneilpopolo.it/

Posted by: Domenico Schietti on December 13, 2003 4:03 PM

An intelligent Christmas

I would like to remember you that for Christmas make an intelligent present is mandatory.

I would like to remember you that your company may grow up if you promote it doing something good for all.

By the way instead of making silly presents or nothing at all, you can help people spend only few money buying presents in good ethical products made by people of poor countries.

By the way instead of giving a diamond to your wife you can give a surgical operation to a child that absolutely needs it, or a year of scholastic education to a whole children class in India or Africa.

I give you one of the many possible chances that I like, whith no intermediates and wastes: just go to the site of The Shantidhara Social Servcice Society, (click here
http://www.shantidhara.org/) and let you give a school to thousands children with a small donation;

they are used to do everything with only few money.

Here many other ways to start immediately and be useful to everyone: http://www.liberaassociazioneilpopolo.it/inglese/attivazioneimmediata.html

I know problably you know and do these things, but don't be afraid to talk about it with your friends!

So do your own act; because it's easy to talk to stop wars, but where you don't sow love, there is only hate that grows up.

Domenico Schietti
2010 Poverty Elimination
http://www.liberaassociazioneilpopolo.it/

Posted by: Domenico Schietti on December 13, 2003 4:04 PM

An intelligent Christmas

I would like to remember you that for Christmas make an intelligent present is mandatory.

I would like to remember you that your company may grow up if you promote it doing something good for all.

By the way instead of making silly presents or nothing at all, you can help people spend only few money buying presents in good ethical products made by people of poor countries.

By the way instead of giving a diamond to your wife you can give a surgical operation to a child that absolutely needs it, or a year of scholastic education to a whole children class in India or Africa.

I give you one of the many possible chances that I like, whith no intermediates and wastes: just go to the site of The Shantidhara Social Servcice Society, (click here
http://www.shantidhara.org/) and let you give a school to thousands children with a small donation;

they are used to do everything with only few money.

Here many other ways to start immediately and be useful to everyone: http://www.liberaassociazioneilpopolo.it/inglese/attivazioneimmediata.html

I know problably you know and do these things, but don't be afraid to talk about it with your friends!

So do your own act; because it's easy to talk to stop wars, but where you don't sow love, there is only hate that grows up.

Domenico Schietti
2010 Poverty Elimination
http://www.liberaassociazioneilpopolo.it/

Posted by: Ralph on December 14, 2003 3:19 AM

A lot of people are double-posting. On most blogs there is a thermometer thingy at the bottom of the comments section that shows the status of your post. (I donno if it's on this one - until I post this.) If you see one - then you know you're post is really being processed. Just wait.

Re:Anony-mouse. Rumsfield would be a great choice.
When he's ready to retire can I be next? My hair should be mostly white by then. (Gotta have white hair to fit the part.)
It sounds like a truely great cabinet job.

Posted by: Ralph on December 14, 2003 3:23 AM

It does it! It does it! The software on this blog does the thermometer thingy.

Last thought. Every government needs a grandfather to strighten out the young-uns.

Posted by: Jane Galt on December 14, 2003 9:05 AM

Gosh, Orbitron, looks like it's going pretty well today. Or have you lost interest?

Posted by: W Whitelaw on December 14, 2003 7:55 PM

The general concept is familiar enough, vide Oliver Wendell Holmes (attrib), Young men know the rules, old men know the exceptions. The obvious problem is that if it's made an official office, with letterhead stationary and all, you'll have someone like Byrd in there, telling us how they did things back when the Klan was a world power. No thanks. Edward Teller had his doubts, too. In his old age he admitted that he knew that some of his own ideas were pretty crummy, but he had no idea which ones. He cited an interesting example, when an aged and eminent Ernest Rutherford threw Leo Szilard out of his office - what, a self-sustaining nuclear reaction? Kid must be a crackpot.

Posted by: Orbitron on December 29, 2003 3:25 AM

Jane, you appear to think our capturing Saddam Hussein proves some sort of point. I don't see how Bush's war is any less a disaster now than it was before the capture.

Hell, even if it had gone perfectly and the Iraqis had scatterered rose petals at our soldiers' feet, it still would have been wrong. The President of the United States and his administration lied to Congress, the American people and the world in order to establish a prestext to invade a sovereign nation that posed no threat to us.

Comments are Closed.