July 5, 2004
From the desk of Mindles H. Dreck:Things that make you go 'Eew'
On my way home from work, there is a roadside place that sells statuary. Waiting at the light, I wonder - has this fellow's course of steroids gone horribly wrong?
Thankfully, there is a better angle, but the steroid theory still seems reasonable:
Hmmmm. Seems as though thou knowest what thou talkest about.
Oversize quads from far too many leg extensions. Serious lack of calf size because calf workouts "just hurt too much". Saggy, bloated belly from too much Equipoise. Interestingly natural (if large) arm and shoulder development. Not quite sure where those obliques come from. They are way too 1st century.
The hair causes real problems with the steriods theory, though. Hulk Hogan could only wish he had a head of curls like that.
Did you plan the angle of the first picture? At first it looks like the guy is spectacularly well-endowed in a weirdly pointy sort of way, but it turns out, after seeing the second picture, that that's the bird's beak, not what I thought it was.
That would be 'oids rather than 'iods.
Doc-that was the intended effect. It is, however, the angle from which you view the statue at that intersection. I took the picture from my car.
Well-endowed in an uncomfortable sort of way ("damn - woke up with 'crane scrotum' again!")
The hell with that -- I want the big "Olmec" head.
If he wants better calves he should do some powerwalking. I do, and my calves are my best part.
Beautiful camera angle on that first picture. On account of the steel support bar behind him, it looks like our awkwardly-endowed friend is relieving himself.
That would be a reproduction of an ancient statue of Herakles/Hercules. He's supposed to be buff. Being the son of a god and all that.
Oops. Looks like I was wrong. Thou knowest not of what thou speakest about.
Heavy steroid use in the human male causes the production of endogenous testoserone to largely stop. The testicles shrink up and the male organ becomes less able to, ahem, inflate. The stereotypical image of the modern world class bodybuilder is of a man with huge muscle development and a tiny little d**k that no longer works.
The irony is that he built his muscles to get chicks and then can't do anything with them once he get them. Or guys, for that matter.
Your poor, distorted ancient Greek didn't get his apparently optically enhanced oversized organ from steroids. That's for sure.
Your local masterpiece is a travesty of the Hercules Farnese, for what it's worth.
Well, now that Cronaca has "spilled the beans", I guess no one will buy my yarn that Mindles actually posted a photo of me resting after exercise . . . .
Damn, and it took me weeks to teach that stork to pose on cue!
(grin)
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