September 8, 2004
From the desk of Mindles H. Dreck:Fresh from the stupid idea department
Paul Rudnick is looking to join Nicholson Baker in the contest for weirdest symptoms of Bush Derangement Syndrome:
July 7, 2004—I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t see it coming. I’m a husband. I’m a father. I’m the President of the United States of America. I’m freedom’s go-to guy. But today, while I was watching one of my ads, that spot attacking him for being all flippity-floppity on Iraq, I realized, beyond a shadow of a doubt: Oh, my God, I’m in love with John Kerry.July 8, 2004—I hoped that once I’d written it down, once I could actually see the words in these most secret diary pages, my undeniable feelings would, I don’t know, just somehow vanish. I mean, I’ve never even thought about another fellow that way, not ever—O.K., Ted Kennedy at the pool in those sopping madras trunks. I’m only human. But this is different. This is oddly . . . sacred. Those liquid, burden-of-decency basset-hound eyes. That long, luscious, Leno ’n’ Lincoln jaw. That cinder-block-thick, brushed-chrome hair. Who cares what really happened in Vietnam? That dense, silvery helmet could make any nation feel safe. I’m so ashamed. And I’ve never felt more alive.
The New Yorker needs to aim a little higher (not to mention funnier and less pseudo-hip). I haven't been a big user of the 'imagine if the same thing were said about [insert Democrat/woman/minority group here]' contrivance, but I'd recommend the New Yorker try it a few times and then think where they might find such a piece. (in the comments here?) Has the Manhattan Liberal Cocoon completely dulled their senses? Is Rudnick the next Maureen Dowd?
In the same issue, see this short profile of political youth:
A panelist affiliated with the Young Communist League who wore a hoop through her lower lip softly interjected something about America’s “superpower, capitalist society.” Her braces flashed.Posted by Mindles H. Dreck at September 8, 2004 10:29 AM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links“All right, I’m sorry to cut you off—we’ve got a segment,” Ahmad said. “I don’t actually know what it’s about.”
“The draft,” Naomi said, and a short documentary was shown.
“It’s a war on minority youth,” one panelist said, to applause, when the camera cut back to the stage. Salazar begged to differ: the draft bill brought before Congress last year, she said, had been introduced by a Democrat from Harlem, and was aimed at white people. “That’s not true!” several people shouted at once. “It is true,” said a small voice from the studio audience: Salazar’s six-year-old sister, wearing a backward National Review cap and clutching a baby doll with a “Bush-Cheney ’04” button on its chest.
"imagine if the same thing were said about [insert Democrat/woman/minority group here]' contrivance, but I'd recommend the New Yorker try it a few times and then think where they might find such a piece."
Huh?
Are you saying that a similar piece about said group would offend that group because it isn't funny? I don't understand your criticism.
That is hilarious, the reps have now stooped to attacking Kerrys looks. I know the whole world laughs at jrs quotes, after all, "we need to be able to give our ob/gyns all of our love", but nobody makes fun of his looks. If Clinton would have said that the reps would be drafting impeacment papers. I guess this means pretzels, mountain bikes, and the motorized scooter the Segueway should be used to attack jrs coordination.
The protesters didnt get much coverage because they were well behaved for the most part. But they should reconsider this tactic because the issue is red meat to the reps base, and most of the dems get nothing but negatives from it. Especially post 911.
Can someone tell me what begbee is smoking, and get me an ounce of it, if it's not illegal?
Because I'll be damned if I can figure out what the hell any of what he said had to do with the post it's attached to.
(The only reference to Kerry's looks was by a (presumeably, since he's making fun of Bush in a rather pathetic manner) non-"rep" in the New Yorker, and it didn't read like an attack on Kerry to me. Not surprising, since the article is a blatant attack on Bush.
Did you bother to even glance at the article before spewing, begbee?)
Begbee is a troll. The only cure for trollism is to ignore them. (And if he's not a troll, he is so out of touch with reality that discussing anything with him is futile.)
Not to mention that Begbee is apparently unaware of the vast numbers of Democrats who think it the height of hilarity to compare W.'s looks to that of a chimp.
Tim, I'm speculating that the staff of the New Yorker would turn up their noses at a 'joke' piece musing about Kerry having a crush on Bush.
Of course, they resort to snide, stereotypical attacks. When there is no substance upon which to build an argument, they (Begbee in particular is representative) will change the subject to something irrelevant and/or meaningless.
I have never read the New Yorker. Paul Rudnick calls the ads attacking Kerry "my ads". It wasnt until my second reading that I realized he was writing as if he were Bush. The long, drawn out analysis of Kerrys facial appearence seemed to be ott and negative. Now realizing the topic is fiction, I have no clue what the point of it is. Perhaps the cut and paste job loses something because its clipped, but imo the writing sucks, and it does nothing to help Kerry.
The whole troll thing makes me laugh. Who has far and away the most support here?
The whole troll thing makes me laugh. Who has far and away the most support here?
If you define "support" as "nearly every other user laughing at me and calling me a complete idiot," then, yes, you have our support, Begbee.
John Kerry is a defeatist who submitted to the Communists in the 70's. His version of heroism involves shooting the wounded in the head. His version of leadership involves abandoning his command 4 months into a 12 month tour. His election would be the ideal time to start memorizing the Koran.
In terms of support I meant Kerry or Bush. My bad. RMc you touched me up a little here, but what comes around...
I'll take whatever Begbee is smoking ... legal
or not. I would love to be THAT removed from
reality at will.
Begbee,
It wasnt until my second reading that I realized he was writing as if he were Bush.
Ummmm . . . Begbee, the fifth quoted sentence is "I'm the President of the United States of America." That didn't clue you in? Or at least start you speculating?
I know the whole world laughs at jrs quotes, after all, "we need to be able to give our ob/gyns all of our love", but nobody makes fun of his looks.
All this time I thought Begbee was at least a SOMEWHAT serious poster. But that defies parody.
This picture could probably be used for an inverse Rudnick fantasy.
Tasteless waste of ink this piece may be, but "burden-of-decency basset-hound eyes" is one damn funny line. I guess Kerry's such a bleeding valentine that his face droops with compassion, lol.
"Leon shook his head, taking off his headset. “They kept talking and talking and talking,” he said. “No one paid attention.”"
A great example of a normal political discussion or presidential debate.
Mindles:
I'm not so sure you're right about the New Yorker's tastes. Recall that for about two years after 9/11, many Power Dems wrote paens to the leadership and courage GWB. If you search the SCLM media commentary about GWB in the flight suit at the time of the flight suit, I'd bet the vast majority of what you find will essentially describe GWB as "dreamy."
And the sad truth is that when those jokers wrote those TeenBeat pieces, they were serious. And they were on my side of the aisle. Worse yet, they remain respected forces on my side. So, all and all, I think y'all are getting off pretty easy with the Rudnick piece.
I have to join the Begbee sucks chorus here. I completely screwed the pooch in this thread.
But I think the ob/gyn quote is an accurate bushism.
This just in: documents seemingly damaging to Bush, aired as fact by CBS, are revealed to be obvious forgeries.
That is all.
Wow, Fox reports that there wasnt superscript on most 1970s typewriters, and now people are labeling these documents obvious forgeries. CBS News just released the statement they stand by the authenticity of the documents, and that over the course of six weeks the documents were authenticated by several companies that specialize in the field. I could care less about these documents, the entire country knows Bush joined the NG because he was afraid to go to Vietnam. In any case, if these documents end up having been created on a computer, and CBS investigation of the documents didnt reveal that fact, CBS news is going to take a big hit. Whoever authenticated these documents for CBS should have verified the paper used in the documents, the type and age of the ink used in the documents, and if possible compared the documents in question to other documents produced from the same office in the same time period. I'll wait to hear more before making forgery accusations.
Wow! It took Begbee nearly two whole hours to jump on my last post! My faith in you is shaken, Beg; you'll never make a good attackbot (tm) slouching off like that!
CBS News just released the statement they stand by the authenticity of the documents
Which clinches the argument, natch.
the entire country knows Bush joined the NG because he was afraid to go to Vietnam.
(PROGRAM NOTE: "Begbee and silly little friends" is now equal to "the entire country." Carry on.)
Whoever authenticated these documents for CBS should have verified the paper used in the documents,etc.
CBS got hungry and they forgot their manners. They gobbled this bad piece of beef whole, and the now other nets are pouncing. Watching the media eat their own is such fun, ain't it?
I dont know why you think I attacked you RMc. I questioned your characterization of these reports as 'obvious forgeries'. CBS stands by their story and has named the document analysis expert that authenticated the documents. I never claimed these document questions have been resolved either way.
Paul Rudnick belongs to that special class of gay people living in denial of their minority status and convinced that everyone is secretly gay, too. It gets really tedious.
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