Asymmetrical Information

Hmmm... The way I heard it it was three economists, a Keynesian, a Monetarist and an econometrician. You can figure out who shot left and who shot right.

There are lot more economist jokes than one might think, and some are pretty good:
http://netec.mcc.ac.uk/JokEc.html

The economist joke at Cambridge was that they had the same exam set every year, but they changed the answers

Poindexter jokes?

If I may;

Four Smart Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth man was a Government employee.

To show off the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

The Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles.

Everyone agreed that was good.

The Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Beaker, do your stuff." Beaker got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 oz. of milk without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the government employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The employee called to his cat and said, "Coffee break, do your stuff."

Coffee break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance claim for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

Ahh, niche jokes...

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting in a park one day chatting. Across the road, they notice two people enter a house, and a minute later, three people leaving the same house. They start asking each other how it could have happened. The physicist says "Simple - it must have just been a measurement error". The biologist says "What? It's clear that they reproduced while inside". The mathematician says "No, no, you're both wrong. If exactly one person enters the house now, it will be empty".

Two sociology professors are walking down one of the paths on their campus one day, when they see a group of teens beating up an old lady and stealing her purse. One prof turns to the other and says "Poor kids".

A lawyer, an engineer, and an IT guy are in a car, driving in the mountains. The Engineer is driving. They're driving downhill, and as they come up on a sharp curve, he pushes the brake pedal and feels it sink smoothly all the way to the floor. He holds on and manages to get the car around the curve. He pulls on the emergency brake handle and it comes off in his hand. He sees a hairpin curve above a high falloff straight ahead and knows that he'll never be able to pull the car around that curve. In a last-ditch effort, he yanks the wheel sideways, puts the car into a sideways skid, and brings it to a stop just inches from the edge.

Everyone takes a deep breath, and gets out. The lawyer starts panicking. "We could have been killed! These defective brake systems constitute a tort against us! We should sue!"

The engineer calms him down, and suggests that they pop open the hood to see if they can figure out what happened, and see if they can fix it.

The IT guy says, "I think you're both overreacting. Before we do either of those things, let's get driving down the road and see if it happens again."

Oh, what the heck.

A bunch of engineering students are arguing over pizza and beer about God. The electrical engineer says that obviously God was Himself an electrical engineer: look at the intricate neural networks, the mystery of the brain. No, says the mechanical engineer, He was a mechanical engineer: check out the magnificent mechanism of the skeleton, the tendons, the muscles. The chemical engineer likewise makes his case on the incredibly intricate chemistry of the human body.

"No," says the civil engineer from the corner, "He was obviously a civil engineer."

"Why?," everyone asks.

"Well, who else would route plumbing through a recreational zone?"

Two economists are shipwrecked on a desert island. They come upon a crate of canned goods that had washed ashore. One says, "This is no good! We can't open the cans." The other says, "Assume a can-opener!"

The joke which started all this seems rather stupid to me, as someone familiar with deer hunting. The target is not the deer, but the area from the neck to a little behind the shoulder. Missing three feet ahead and three feet behind are not equivalent. Besides, trophy bucks get that big by not sticking around after the first shot is fired.

I blogged this two years ago next Saturday, and it doesn't have an economist in it, but I can't resist repeating it:

A very rich and not very bright man wants to know for sure how much two plus two is, so he hires an accountant, a mathematician, an engineer, and a lawyer, and pays them $1000 each to tell him the answer.

The accountant pockets his check and then says: "I'm almost ashamed to take your money. Two plus two is four." He holds up four fingers for emphasis. "Four. That's all there is to it. Thank you and goodbye."

After he leaves, the mathematican says: "Actually, two plus two is four point zero, with a horizontal line over the zero to represent the repeating decimal." He draws the number on the board, spends several hours explaining about repeating decimals, then takes his money and leaves.

After that, the engineer says: "Actually, two plus two is four point zero zero times ten to the zeroeth power plus or minus zero point zero zero times ten to the zeroeth power." He draws the formula on the board and spends two whole days explaining it, then takes his money and leaves.

Finally, the lawyer waits for the engineer to leave, locks the door behind him, closes the shades, goes up to the rich man's desk and says quietly: "How much do you want it to be?"

A liberal arts major, an engineer, and a chemist are walking in Scotland and they see a black sheep a bit away on a hill. The liberal arts major cries: "Hey the sheep in Scotland are black." The engineer looks disgusted and says, "no in Scotland there is at least one black sheep." The chemist goes: "Actually we know in Scotland there is one sheep that is at least half black."

if only i could find a deer that would sit still
after the first shot....

Two economists are walking down the street.

"Say, isn't that a $10 bill on the sidewalk?"

"Can't be. Someone would have found it already."

Hmmm....

In the original telling, there is no indication of the way the deer is facing or of the time lag between the first and second shooters. So I conclude from triticale's valuable critique that the deer was facing directly toward or directly away from the shooters, and that they fired nearly simultaneously.

Such interpretive skills are required to watch Star Trek, Star Wars, or Wild, Wild West....

Kevin - that joke is about an astronomer, a biologist, and a mathematician who see a black sheep on the hillside:

Astronomer: All sheep are black.
Biologist: Sheep in Scotland are black.
Mathematician: There exists in Scotland at least one sheep which is black on at least one side.

Michelle, "plumbing" should be replaced by "a sewer pipe" to really get the point across!

Oh yeha, and let's not forget this one:

A famous and well-respected politician dies one day. He gets up to the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter is sitting there checking people in. So he gets up to the froint of the line, and Peter says "You've earned the right to get into heaven, but given that just about everyone you knew in your life is in hell, we're actually going to allow you a choice if you want it. You can spend a day up here, and a day down there, and then tell us which you prefer". The politician thinks for a moment and says "Well, given how important this choice is, it's worth spending a couple days to check out my options. Okay".

He goes to hell first, and to his surprise, he's dropped into a magnificent golf course, with all of his friends from his life down there, along with one guy he doesn't know, dressed nicely with a driver in his hand. The guy introduces himself as Satan, and says "We were just starting a golf tournament - you want in?" Needless to say, the politician is impressed, and as he spends the day golfing with his buddies, he starts to think that hell really isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be. They finish up the tournament after he shoots the best round of his life, and head off for a magnificent feast at the clubhouse. Between the food, the open bar, and the company of all his dead friends, the politician has the greatest night of his life, and the next morning, he bids them all goodbye, saying "That was wonderful! I'm off to tour hevean now, but I'm sure I'll be back down here in a day - there's no way hevean can compare to this place".

Anyways, he gets up to heaven, and gets a tour around with one of the local angels. He likes the place a fair bit, but it's nothing to compare to hell. So at the end of the day, he goes up to Peter and says "Well, I have to admit that heaven was pretty nice, but hell was just better. Sorry, but I'm going to have to go back down there". Peter looks confused for a moment, but says to the politician "I don't understand why you would pass up a place in God's kingdom, but it's your choice. Fine". Anyways, a minute later, the politican lands in hell, only the golf course has been replaced with pits of brimstone, his friends are all chained up and being tortured by demons, and Satan, instead of looking like a human in a golf shirt, now looks like all the drawings of him - goat hooves, horns, pointy tail, and all. The politician looks around confused and says "I don't understand - what happened to the golf course? What happened to all the nice stuff that was here yesterday?". Satan laughs for a moment, and says to him "Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today you elected us!"

Somebody fetch triticale a rubber chicken and a joy buzzer immediately!

Alsadius' joke has an alternate rendering targeted at another demographic:

A marketing executive dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter greets him at the reception desk and says, "Hmmm...we don't have an assigned place, your life has been kind of a wash. This is unusual, but we're going to give you a unique option. We're going to let you spend ten minutes looking at each place and then let you decide which eternal home you want. First, a quick peak into heaven." He escorts the executive through the gates and gives him a quick tour.

The executive sees lots of contended people in white robes, reclining on clouds and playing harps. "Not bad," he muses, "but let's look at the other option now."

Peter leads him to the doorway of hell. The executive is greeted by a smooth-talking, stunningly-attractive hostess. In ten minutes he has seen beautiful people all over the place, a constant stream of cocktail parties, and a penthouse suite with his name etched on a door plaque. Peter meets him at the door after his tour of hell. "Made your decision?"

"Oh yeah!" says the executive. "I think I'll stay right here, thanks!" He turns around and the hostess leads him over to a door marked "Check-In." No sooner has the executive stepped through but the floor gives way underneath, and he finds himself wallowing in a flaming sulfrous stew while demons prod him with pitchforks. At that moment, satan wanders by.

"Hey, you there!" the executive shouts. "I thought this was a fun place! Where are the chicks and parties and luxury living?"

"Oh come now," satan responds. "You of all people didn't really believe the marketing demo, did you?"

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