Asymmetrical Information

I wonder if her original story included the names of the companies involved. Did she leave them out, or did the NYT delete them?

We went through an identical situation when our first child was stillborn. It was mind boggling how many companies contact you. I tried getting lists of VP's and directors and considered sending letters to all of them, but it was just too difficult to gather the energy to try to wage war. I eventually got a couple to stop, but it was a devastating experience. And, unfortunately, the boycott idea doesn't work...unless you have no intention of buying formula, diapers or toys. I don't think there were any of those companies we didn't hear from. Unfortunately, the NYT author still hasn't reached the time when her child would have been turning one. That might have been the worst part of the whole experience...getting a half dozen birthday cards (with coupons!) for your stillborn child just as you are starting to get on with your life.

Even this week, 4 years later, we just had a similar situation occur. The birth center we used with our first child, whom we have not gone back to and who we could have sued for malpractice, has been told multiple times not to contact us and to take us off all of their lists. But we, again, got a mailing from them this week asking us to help them celebrate their 25th aniversary. I researched it and discovered that there seems to be no legal recourse to get a business to stop sending you regular mail (unless they are stalking you). So we are writing another (increasingly nasty) letter, and we hope we'll stop hearing from them soon.

if i was the father in that situation (and i know men in his industry) i'd be calling the VPs and such at their homes. at 2AM.

if it doesn't let up, you talk to their wives and tell them that you can't live a lie anymore and mention that you are the other man and have been having an affair with their husband and several sheep. (changing genders as appropriate)

if people are going to be this insanely insenstivie, it is time to bring out the big, big guns, though I can see how it would be hard or impossible for either parent. perhaps enlisting an enraged family member in this could be useful.

As a lifetime member of the NRA, my brother had a small life insurance policy with them. On his death (in a hunting accident, no less) I, as executor, submitted the proper papers and such and promptly recieved the settlement.

Yet for months afterward he kept receiving their notices and bulletins and whatnot until I finally got on the horn and told them, "Listen, the guy's dead! You paid his insurance policy! I don't have his forwarding address, so will you please stop?"

They did...

Thanks for the funny memory.

All those mailing lists are computerized, of course. Likely all those companies bought the name and address from a single original source, but even if she could get back to that source and get it to remove her name, that wouldn't propagate to all the companies who bought her name from that source.

There is actually only one way I know of to get away from something like this: move. All that junk mail is 4th class and the post office doesn't forward 4th class mail. But it's a shame that you might be chased out of your home by obnoxious mailing lists. It really shouldn't be that way.

By the way, "Hey", what you're suggesting can land you in prison.

I'd sue. Especially if I lived in Texas.

Steven: Moving doesn't stop Parenting magazine (which my wife and I hate). Apparantly, having a child entitles you to a permanant subscription (always about to run out, so renew now!)

I have no idea how they got our new address. We've been very careful about that. Unless they have informants at the post office, I can't imagine.

Thank God, I haven't had any tragic reason to hate unsolicited "welcome baby" mailings, and my heart aches for those who have... but I distinctly remember my family's boycotting Nestle for the longest time when I was a pre-teen because the nuns at my school told us Nestle was providing free baby formula to new moms in third-world countries, thereby encouraging them to let their own milk supply diminish or disappear, and then requiring them to pay for subsequent formula. In my less credulous middle age I realize that I never even tried to verify the story... but I can say that after the birth of each of my children, a case of free formula was left on my (non-third-world) doorstep, albeit with fine print saying "breast milk is best."

That's just not right ...

No kidding! Not right at all!

The bad guys in this aren't the marketers - they are using a list provided to them in good faith. The bad guy is the proprietor of the parenting website which ignored the 'do not share' designation. (Indeed, I'm sure they put the 'do not share' option there specifically to get those hard-to-reach people who value their privacy, and thus increase the value of their list.) I'm assuming it's not the insurance company, who could get in mondo trouble for sharing medical information.

It would be interesting to see the result of suing the website - misappropriation of private information through a fraudulent guarantee? If you could get that, you could get mental anguish to jack up the award. It all hinges on the fine print - the 'privacy' policy no one ever reads. It probably says something to the effect of 'Company may share some information with selected partners and affiliates.' As for the opt-out, they can point to the privacy policy and say something to the effect of 'this wasn't a guarantee, we merely were giving the registrant the opportunity to express their opinion.'

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