October 5, 2005
From the desk of Jane Galt:Oh, what'll we do with a dead dictator?
Russia asks that question about Lenin's embalmed body.
For eight decades he has been lying in state on public display, a cadaver in a succession of dark suits, encased in a glass box beside a walkway in the basement of his granite mausoleum. Many who revere him say he is at peace, the leader in repose beneath the lights. Others think he just looks macabre.Posted by Jane Galt at October 5, 2005 3:06 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound linksTime has been unkind to Lenin, whose remains here in Red Square are said to sprout occasional fungi [bleccchhhh!--ed], and whose ideology and party long ago fell to ruins. Now the inevitable question has returned. Should his body be moved?
Cremate him. Dissolve the ashes in acid. Flush the mess down a nearby toilet.
Nope, Robert, dave is correct. A global capitalist auction of the remains of the architect of the New Soviet Man would retire the irony prize until the end of time.
Who would buy his carcass....oh damn just had a thought, you could buy it, bring it here, install it in the Reagan Library and charge conservatives a heinous fee to be allowed to spit on it.
Or maybe the communist party here can buy it and cry over it just as we see communism fading.
Oh, Oh I got it, the Republican party can buy it and study it so that they can lay out Dubya "in state" and he will last 100 years easy.
j: I'd pay money to spit on it, but I have a better idea: buy it for that museum of lost freedom that someone wants to build where Justice Souter's house is.
Crate it up and stick it in the warehouse we all saw at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Nah, I'm with Ebay. Barring that, I'm sure there's still plenty of nuke tests that could stand to be used for desecration on the side. But Ebay would have to top it all.
Stick him out next to the statue of Lenin and Russian ICBM here in Seattle (Fremont neighborhood). Nobody will know the difference.
I'm voting for coat rack. You can pose him with his index finger raised as if making point, and use the hand to hang your fedoras.
Ebay. But barring that, the spitting thing sounds good. Of course, I'd like to have him around just to piss on every now and again.
You can pose him with his index finger raised as if making point, and use the hand to hang your fedoras.
Ooooh, kitschy!
Put him on The Tonight Show and have celebrities sign him. Then put him on e-bay.
Ebay is the obvious solution. But what do we do with the profits? Museum? Reparations? Other/creative?
The Dilbert comic strip had a great series of strips where Dogbert bought Lenin's body. He used him as a coffe table, and decided to place him face-up so he could use his nostrils as pencil holders.
I imagine the high bidder would be the Upper Deck Trading Card Company, who would cut the body into tiny flakes, embed them into trading cards, and insert them randomly into packs of baseball cards, just like they did with Babe Ruth's bats. That's as close to collective ownership as you're going to get.
I imagine the high bidder would be the Upper Deck Trading Card Company, who would cut the body into tiny flakes, embed them into trading cards, and insert them randomly into packs of baseball cards, just like they did with Babe Ruth's bats. That's as close to collective ownership as you're going to get.
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