Asymmetrical Information

Just make sure the judge's rabies shots are up to date.

Oh what a lovely image!

I have heard some accuse Scalia of being raised by wolves, so perhaps this is not unprecedented.

There better not be any of those damn feral judges here in Wisconsin. We're already trying to allow permits to shoot feral cats... feral judges will be next!

I sent this to a friend and we fairly immediately came around to the idea that the VP, whose role as the president's attack-dog is rooted in tradition, should be feral-- raised by wolves on a federal preserve. After the presidential candidate is nominated at convention, he is must be immediately flown to the preserve, and handed a tranquilizer gun.

Using the gun is optional, of course-- some candidates might want a VP who'll come quietly.

I hear reading judicial opinions in a soothing tone will calm feral judges. Then you can dart them with an anti-psychotic and prop them up on the bench.

That's classic.

The incomparable Frank Easterbrook at least has the spirit:

Last year my clerks gave me a sketch, done by a cartoonist, that captures my attitude: a lawyer is disappearing through a trap door, which I opened by pushing a button on the bench. On his way down (way, way down; the Seventh Circuit's courtroom is on the 27th floor of the Dirksen Courthouse) the lawyer exclaims: "BBUT, YOUR HONOR, JURISDICTION WASN'T RAISED BELOOOOOWWW...!" . . . (The phrase "Your Honor, I wasn't trial counsel so I don't know what’s in the record" also opens the trap door. A voice-activated switch should automate the process, but I can't persuade the General Services Administration to install a trap door. GSA expresses concern about disrupting ongoing trials if an appellate lawyer should pass through district courts on the way to the street.)

How about having the feral judge kept in a cage with two doors, controlled remotely by the Chief Justice. After the Court deliberates, the Chief Justice announces the decision by opening the door facing the losing party.

Think how this would cut down on the Court backlog.

You could also release a video collection "Best of Stare Dericis: Losers at the Supreme Court." Bound to be a hit with the Jerry Springer crowd.

Lovely! With its new feral member, not only can the Court consider International Law as precedent, it will have its own in-house expert on the Law of the Jungle.

There's always the Trap/Neuter/Release program, you know.

See Dilbert cartoons (in the most recent book) on the hiring of feral employees...

That was an obvious typo. What they meant to post was that we need a virile judge.

Then there is the problem of them marking their territory and what do you do with them during mating season?

From my experience in the practice of law, I can attest: "feral judge" is a redundancy.

" But how will we keep a feral judge from chewing up all the lovely woodwork?"

Have you tried using bitter apple spray? It works for my dog. And if that doesn't, an occasional good swat with a rolled up Wall Street Journal will soon teach him....

Remember: A feral judge isn't just for Christmas; it's for a lifetime.

"And in other news, the Supreme Court ruled today in a split verdict: four ayes, four neighs, and a long mournful howl..."

Oh, my word! Hilarious!

Thanks for the good laugh, Megan!

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts ferally absolutely.

I don't know if that counts as an eggcorn, but it should.

While a feral judge can be trusted to protect our right to arm bears, note that we also have the option of appointing a state. I suggest Alaska; it's big enough to shield us from the dread Curse of the Were-Roberts.

I just want to mention that Googling "feral judge" gets a lot more hits than I would expect. Possibly a common Freudian slip.

An admission! The left has been complaining for years about rabid right wing judges. ;)

Uh-oh. Better spread some Feralist Papers on the floor....

It's been a long time since I had such a good laugh.
But all your commenters have stolen all my lines so I can just say, Thanks for the funny!

I just got a new puppy!! Would he chew better?

adam
Hookah Information

I'vce always thought Bork would have fit neatly into that category, given that one of his first moves after being denied confirmation was to say that Congress should have the right to override any Supreme Court decision by a simple majority vote -- that is, that we don't need a Supreme Court, or indeed a Constitution.

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