July 14, 2006
From the desk of Jane Galt:Yet another use for blogging
From Tyler Cowen, writing about someone he refers to as, um, the un-Jane:
Note that the male audience is error-prone and self-deceiving, so the self-description should involve some ambiguity rather than a perfect description of self. The woman cannot trust the men to do the proper ex ante sorting. Had I known I wanted a Russian Jewish-Armenian lawyer and former linguist with not exactly my political views?
BUT: What if the advertising woman self-deceives about a good partner more than the eligible men do? In that case the woman might want to be very specific about what she is like. The number of respondees goes down and the woman hopes that the right man will see through her character and choose her.Does that sound like Megan Non-McArdle? Are highly specific ads an attempt to abdicate responsibility for choice? A pre-emptive move to avoid rejection? Or are they a demand for the near-impossible, to seek the most romantic story imaginable, and to request only a man who is infinitely perceptive and full of love from the get go?
Stay tuned...
Addendum: If a woman writes a blog, and in part uses the blog as an extended (and thus detailed) personal ad, does this mean she is especially difficult to please? Especially romantic?
I'd never thought of my blog as a personal ad, but perhaps now that I'm single again I should. Should I eschew budget deficits and unemployment in favour of lovely, lying photographs of myself in grown-up prom dresses, and long treatises on how much I enjoy travel, fine dining, and long walks on the beach?1 I leave it up to my readers.
1 In making your decision, keep in mind that much as I admire her spunk, I am not, no matter how much you ask, going to emulate the . . . er . . . friskier bits of the un-Jane's self-description. This is, after all, a family blog--specifically, my family. Hi, Dad!
That's a trick question at the end, right?
Anything that prompts more pictures of Jane gets my vote. But sorry Jane, I'm happily married. :)
Intent doesn't really matter, does it? If it attracts men, it is a personal ad of sorts. Or so a neoclassical model would imply. Counter-signaling (i.e., talk of budget deficits) probably does better than gowns, no matter how charming or attractive the latter may appear.
Ball gowns, phooey. Do you like Shakespeare, Mozart and Fats Waller?
Advertising must be part of an overall "business plan". Can you share your overall goals, objectives, strategies and tactics? Any long term strategic alliances? Do you have a good Board of Directors for advice and council?
The business plan can be brief. Twenty years ago, an unattached friend summarized his as "Set a date, pick a mate." We thought he was nuts, but he was married 13 months later. And remains so today.
You are a woman of honesty and integrity. During the recent hurricane, you promised a cake to any who contributed to relief efforts. And you did what you said you would do. Find someone of similar character, not compatible interests.
Hrmmm. Attractive, intelligent, libertarianish woman in my age group? I suppose it's too much to ask that you like baseball(actually, tolerate would be sufficient)?
:)
By all means. Post pix.
I think I speak for all of the men in your audience, Jane. If we were younger, taller, and single we'd be begging for your attention.
Presumably, any man you date will immediately check out your blog, if he was not aware of it already, thus giving him a good idea of what you're about, and almost certainly causing him to fall completely in love with you. So your blog might speed things along once you've met, but the real issue is, as always, meeting the guy in the first place.
Don't your friends know wonderful single men who they're trying to pair off? Failing that, personal ads do work (worked for me), and computer sites are much more mainstream now than they used to be (that is, most people who post at them seem to actually want to meet someone). I hope it happens soon; I know I'm looking forward to secretly hating the lucky guy who lands Ms. Galt.
I'd never thought of my blog as a personal ad
Maybe you haven't noticed, but many of your readers appear to think otherwise.
I'd never thought of my blog as a personal ad, but perhaps now that I'm single again I should.
(emphasis added)
I think you just did.
Maybe you should be posting more pictures of your dad. Being the New York City type, I suppose he may not own a shotgun, but he's got to have something equally dangerous handy if an integrity-deficient member of the male species should Threaten His Little Girl.
For example, maybe a short video clip of him juggling an entire set of kitchen cutlery, and then throwing each knife sequentially into a three-inch cluster without pausing or dropping anything.
Then, if you want to take a closer look at anyone who passes that filter...
bah, learning to juggle takes too much effort esp since thrown knives aren't that scary (unless of course, they're poisoned.) don't get me wrong -- getting tagged by one will ruin your whole day, but if it were that easy to kill someone we'd have never made it out of the trees.
here's to idly hoping that ms. galt, like, omg -totally- goes for awkward and dorky.
No, no. The right man will love you for your economic wonkery.
Well, among other things, I mean. One that loves you only for the wonkery would be pretty damned odd.
You're perfect as you are. We just need more of you.
Being an overeducated libertarianish 30-something small business owning guy in NYC who tends to disagree with you most of the time, I'll buy you a beer whenever you like. I am attached; I just think it would be fun to meet you.
Failing that, personal ads do work (worked for me)...
Is "Mike" short for "Michelle?"
don't get me wrong -- getting tagged by one will ruin your whole day, but if it were that easy to kill someone we'd have never made it out of the trees.
Ah, but who said anything about killing? Knowing that you will be toyed with by a sadist is often a far better disincentive.
The problem with your blog as a personal ad, is that you write far too well. There are very few of us guys who are not intimidated by a women who is smarter (or more accomplished) than we are. It's that darn male ego. Hopefully, by the time we've grown up a bit, we've trained our ego to the point we can have a successful relationship with a women who's more than our equal. But, as a general rule, guys want to be looked up to and gals want to look up (or at least across).
Of course, none of this applies to me. I met and married a women who's my superior in everyway except taste in people (otherwise she never would have married me). We'll be married for 24 years at the end of this month. So, I don't have an ego problem. Never did. It's those other guys. The immature ones. The ones who might be intimidated by your blog. Those ones. They have an ego problem. Not me. Why'd you bring this up, anyway?
Actually, I think all that talk about unemployment and deficits is really hot. Interest rates too!
"There are very few of us guys who are not intimidated by a woman who is smarter (or more accomplished) than we are."
I wouldn’t be intimidated by a woman smarter than me – I’ve just never met one.
(ducking flying objects)
Kidding! Kidding!
"Is 'Mike' short for 'Michelle?'"
No, I’m a boy. And my wife’s a girl. A really smart girl, too. Though also clearly suffering from taste issues.
If Carl Sagan was not intimidated by his wife then I don't think any man should be intimidated by a smarter woman. In fact they should glory in her. Pic please.
There's only capitalist way to settle this. Auction yourself off on ebay. That will filter out men with goatees. Winner gets to take you to dinner. That will filter out cheap men. Donate the proceeds to your favorite dog breed rescue. That will filter out men who like cats.
Will C.:
Which one was smarter? The first one, I hope you mean.
You could kill both birds with one stone by drawing economic graphs all over a prom dress. "Check out these curves, baby."
(Sorry, I couldn't pass up the pun for anything.)
Actually, I think all that talk about unemployment and deficits is really hot. Interest rates too!
I agree. Interest does indeed rate. In fact it rates higher than any other factor when choosing a partner.
DEAR GOD that may be the most humiliatingly shameless grab for attention post that I have ever read!
Why not just stand up on a table saying "compliment meeee!"?
I think I would be perfect for Megan. There is the small matter of me being 4'2" while she is 6'10", but in my stylish fishtank platform boots I'm almost 4'7". Whaddaya say, beanstalk?
Megan, I'm pretty sure that at least 95% of the single guys on here, and probably a decent number of the married oens too, would kill to have a girl half as good as you(at least, judging by a lot of econoblogging and a couple pictures). If you ever wanted to use this space as a personal ad, you would not lack for responses - and if you don't intend that, I'd delete this post ASAP.
PS: It's *really* hard to write a response to this that doesn't make me sound like a creepy cyberstalker in one way or another...
Also, Paul Gowder, that was the most awesome pun I've heard in a long, long time. It just needs to be said.
Hey, even those of us guys who aren't single anymore would appreciate the pics. :)
There are few things in the world hotter than a woman who didn't have all the geekiness stamped out of her (so thoroughly that she'd never recover it even as an adult) by the other girls when she was in middle school.
The fact that I'm currently (and happily) engaged to marry a member of this vanishingly rare and valuable species does not preclude my continuing interest in the enjoyment of others. :)
Jane, you shouln't put anything aside. You should be able to do both.
You could kill both birds with one stone by drawing economic graphs all over a prom dress. "Check out these curves, baby."
Nice! Reminds me that back in high school, I had a mechanical drawing/drafting teacher who kept a rather unusual french curve tracer in his desk -- it was made of the traditional translucent green plastic, but formed a female silouhette.
He's been retired from teaching for 10 years, and a good thing, as somebody would probably sue him into the ground for that now. A shame that he's gone, since he would break his own back to find technical or scientific scholarship/grant/other FinAid for any college-bound girl who came through one of his classes, and they all loved him like a grandfather for doing so.
You sound lonely...probably that recent trip to Greece you mentioned, but without anyone deeply special in your life, has sharpened these feelings.
But you're also a clever girl and seem personable and pretty enough. Best guess is that you're too picky and have friends who could be escalated or other quality possibilities you ignore (or take for granted and in the non-struggle of it they seem less interesting). Most non-troll professional women in their early 30s have such things and also winge interminably about dearths of possibilities.
Too picky relative to what standard, one might ask...? Why, if nothing else, to the standard of being insecure enough about being alone to start blogging it. Or maybe of having too lofty an opinion of yourself [ to match the fun altitude of your head :) ]
People don't generally find real mates by desperately casting a net about. These things tend to be temporary ego boosts -- at best. Current friends and serendipity, while not control freak friendly, remain the best conduits of creating something enduring.
Finally, as any married or otherwise stable couple will tell you, compromise, adaptation, and patience from both parties are the key. While it does not prove it, your posts in general and this past post as well indicate a lack of all three qualities. As one ages, past failures kind of pile up on you...a sort of "assumption about what can work scar tissue". This is especially a problem for people of various extreme traits. So, some personal growth may be required on your part before you reach long-term fullfillment. Just a hunch.
It is utterly unimportant whether one's personals ad is well-crafted or not, though the reasons why it's unimportant differ between the sexes. If you're a woman, you could write the worst crappiest ad imaginable and you are still going to get hundreds of responses from men. If you're a man (unless you're an Alpha male, but in that case you wouldn't need to post ads), you could write a clever, witty ad and you're still not going to get any responses from women except for solicitations from hookers. All of your responses to women's ads will be ignored.
There's an imbalance of power when it comes to personals ads and dating in general - more specifically, women have 100% of the power and non-Alpha men have 0%. You can thank what I like to call the Woman Shortage, the result of rampant de facto polygamy and serial monogamy on the part of Alpha males.
We're facing a situation in which a whole generation of men, specifically those who aren't Alpha, are facing a lifetime of loneliness and involuntary singleness. We can barely imagine what the consequences will be.
@Peter
We're facing a situation in which a whole generation of men, specifically those who aren't Alpha, are facing a lifetime of loneliness and involuntary singleness. We can barely imagine what the consequences will be.
The consquenes will be that these guys will spend a lot of time rolling over on their backs and exposing their throats. Bad dog!
Megan - just be yourself - that's why I read you. Why ask us - does your own opinion not matter? If you want to use your blog for an ad, I'm quite certain the tenor of your posts will be as equally entertaining even if the subject matter varies....
Oh - 5'10", 32x32 501s, passionate about connections, free will, free markets and make the world's best lasagna - but you're too far from Madison.
More pictures in general would be good. More pictures of Jane, probably good also. Picture of Jane holding a copy of HBR standing next to a midget, best.
It is always helpful to see what a women with a brain looks like. :)
I'm certain there are plenty of age-appropriate, height-appropriate, marital-status-appropriate men who have followed AI since, oh I don't know, summer of 2002 and have found Jane Galt's pattern of thought highly appealing, and strongly suspected that the rest of MM is highly appealing as well, but who know that it's virtually impossible to make any kind of informal approach without seeming creepy. So they just admire from the cyber-distance.
Or so I hear.
We're facing a situation in which a whole generation of men, specifically those who aren't Alpha, are facing a lifetime of loneliness and involuntary singleness. We can barely imagine what the consequences will be.
Lots of World of Warcraft raids. We have channeled all negative male energy into beating up pixelated ogres.
Oh for #*(&$% sake guys. Grow a pair, pay a visit the big city, and buy the girl a cup of coffee.
If I'm in NYC anytime soon (unlikely, I hate big cities), that's what I'll do. And if our lovely hostess is in Virginia anytime soon, she may have her choice of weapon for a day at the range, provided she brings the dog to play with my son.
And milton: I think Peter needs your psychobabble more than Jane does.
Sorry Megan, I'm working abroad this year and will probably spend another year in Detroit before I move on to greener pastures, don't think that'd work for you. Tough break.
Rob, still need to see pictures. There are lots of smart girls in the world.
We know she can write, how else can she express herself?
Lots of World of Warcraft raids. We have channeled all negative male energy into beating up pixelated ogres.
Since nobody else has taken the honors, let me be the first to say...
bwwwaAAAAhhahahahahhahHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
That's good stuff.
...long walks on the beach
To me, it's amazing at how often that shows up in personal ads, compared to how infrequently people take long walks on the beach.
Coincidentally, I took a walk on the beach of Lake Huron yesterday with the future Mrs. Michigander. FYI, we did meet by personal ad on the internet; she responded to mine. Neither of mentioned that particular cliche in our personals.
Here's hoping that Jane will post a follow up to let us all know how many dates she got out of this post.
Michigander: Where on the shores of Lake Huron? I am a big fan of Drummond Island...
Jane, have you had any success? Is your in-box filling up with prospective suitors looking to buy you a cup of coffee? I'm pulling for you. If I wasn't already happily married, I would have asked you out....
Poor Peter,
It is utterly unimportant whether one's personals ad is well-crafted or not, though the reasons why it's unimportant differ between the sexes. If you're a woman, you could write the worst crappiest ad imaginable and you are still going to get hundreds of responses from men.
As long as you aren't ugly or fat. In which case, you'll get little to no responses.
If you're a man (unless you're an Alpha male, but in that case you wouldn't need to post ads), you could write a clever, witty ad and you're still not going to get any responses from women except for solicitations from hookers. All of your responses to women's ads will be ignored.
Total cr@p. I did On-Line dating for about a year and half (before I got married) and I loved it. It is the absolute best way for men to meet women.
I used to troll for "dates" at a place called relationships.com (I don't even know if that site is in existance) and I had a form introduction letter. Well this dating site had something called "Emma's Picks" where the search engine would match you with what it believed was your best matches in the database. Over a period of 6 months I sent all five my form letter. I met (and dated) all five of them, with some success and some disappointment. Most of the disappointment (on my part) was a result of discovering how much credit debt many of women I met on-line, had.
There's an imbalance of power when it comes to personals ads and dating in general - more specifically, women have 100% of the power and non-Alpha men have 0%.
That exists everywhere, not just personal ads. Stop being a wimp and go get one.
You can thank what I like to call the Woman Shortage, the result of rampant de facto polygamy and serial monogamy on the part of Alpha males.
Stop being jealous. Stop your complaining. Stop acting like the 40-year old virgin. Start being a man.
We're facing a situation in which a whole generation of men, specifically those who aren't Alpha, are facing a lifetime of loneliness and involuntary singleness. We can barely imagine what the consequences will be.
Columbine Massacre? China in 20 years (because they kill off all the girl babies?)
"... There's an imbalance of power when it comes to personals ads and dating in general - more specifically, women have 100% of the power and non-Alpha men have 0%...."
Go to Latin America or South-east Asia.
Assuming that you are a half-decent guy and not some total jerk, you will have an *excellent* chance of finding a woman with traditional values (and half you age, if you want) who will treat you at least as well as you treat her.
You might have to learn to speak a little Tagalog or Portuguese, but that is a small price to pay.
Careful how you throw around "spunk". I'd like my daughters to read this blog too someday.
Paul-
Amen to your comments re Peter's whining. Some hot babe dumped you for a CEO? Don't give up, date someone less shallow. Jeez.
As stated above, I put an ad in a weekly suburban paper, which ran for four weeks, and got about 40 responses, which I was told was about the norm. The women skewed a bit older than I specified, and some weren't as attractive as I'd like, but many were interesting, some were gorgeous, and I would up marrying the second one I met. I know many others who have used the internet (with success) and none have noted such an overwhelming asymmetry, though yes, women do get more traffic (duh).
I have a very attractive female friend who I've been imploring to DO SOMETHING, but she's shy; meanwhile the pages keep flying off the calendar. You only get the one life. You can get bitter, or talk yourself into thinking it's ok to go home to an empty apartment forever, or get 20 cats and get really squirrely, or you can do something. I don't know why I'm preaching about this, but damn, I guess I remember how much it sucked being alone, and never take for granted how much better it is now.
So Peter, suck it up. Everyone gets dumped on. You only have to get lucky once. Make it happen.
Paul, thanks for your response to Peter. That's what I'm trying to tell him for ..or..about a year by now, on various blogs.
One thing, though: it doesn't register. I wouldn't be surprised that tomorrow he'll start whining about Women Shortage and Unfair Alpha Males someplace else. Wait until he holler another favorite cry of his: how few and between there are available (not hookers) women in the singles bars.
And to think this guy is married with children! Or so he says.
Megan: saddened to hear your previous relationship ended. Wanna come out for lunch/coffee and exchange tips (or horror stories)?
Admiring your frankness,
Tatyana & Mike,
Hope I helped. I know it can be discouraging for people like Peter. When I started on-line dating, I didn't get a sniff for like a month. Then all of a sudden, they started responding to the form letter. Then it came in droves. I didn't have a Friday night to myself.
As far as his jealousy of the "Alpha-males" goes, well, women want to be with a "man." They don't want to date a "boy." If all you think of yourself is as a "boy" then that is what you are, and you aren't mature enough yet to date. If you think of yourself as a "man" then you are mature enough. It really is that simple. Women can tell the difference between a boy and a man in about 3 seconds.
Wait until he holler another favorite cry of his: how few and (far) between there are available (not hookers) women in the singles bars.
Same can be said for (not "players") men in singles bar. Generally speaking, people (men and women) go to nightclubs not to meet their soulmate, but to get laid. And they get more desperate (and less choosy) as the evening draws to a close and they are still alone (and horny.) Nothing wrong with that if that is what you are looking for, but just know what you are getting.
The best place to meet people (and your potential soulmate) is a wedding. That is the best place to meet people BY FAR!
How do you feel about older men?
Er, significantly older men.
(Who are no taller than you.)
Her publicly available email address(es) are no doubt overflowing. Me, I can't think of a catchy subject line to encourage a click-click. Also I seem to be at a loss to find a single picture of myself reclining shirtless on one elbow looking like the Bowflex guy. I'm certain they're here somewhere...
So I'll share an anecdote: There was an entry some while ago where the Young Lady vented her frustration about bruising her knees on the airplane seat in front of her. It reminded me of having to sit in agony on an old 707 with my legs splayed apart to fit.
I noted that this fascinating persona of Jane Galt was attached to an attractive woman named MM who could almost look me in the eye.
So now I'm wondering whether she's ever had the opportunity to discuss the coming currency crisis (oh yeah, it's on the way) over a cold beer and hot crawfish etouffee.
******
As for Peter, he might consider that the shallow women who can't tell the difference between machismo and true masculinity are as common as meatheaded men who can't tell the difference between a hot chick and a beautiful woman. And is that who we would aspire to attract? And the ones who do appreciate the difference will be quickly turned off by his "beweeping his outcast state." Lose/lose. Might want to keep that, um, stuff to yourself, dude.
******
Ding... NEXT!!!
Tatyana: Yes, and another clue for Peter: Unless you're Woody Allen, women are repulsed by the whining.
I hardly think of Megan not-McArdle as the "anti-Jane" at all -- both of you are on the correct side of just about every scale a reader of either blog reader could possibly want.
I bet Tyler was just slyly commenting on the first-name coincidence.
Comments are Closed.