October 17, 2006
From the desk of Jane Galt:
Full disclosure . . .
. . . I have used the words "full disclosure" in a post before. Kevin Drum wants me to stop.
Personally, I think the problem is that "full disclosre" isn't really full enough. How much better would it be if when you used that phrase, you actually had to reveal something interesting?
Full disclosure: two years ago at a conference, John Chapman and I had a little too much tequila and ended up shagging like minks for three glorious nights. I still get a little misty-eyed every time I walk into a new hotel room and see those little mints on the pillow. Neither my husband nor his wife were aware of this little interlude. I mean, until I announced it publicly here.
Full disclosure: I met Malcolm at Harvard, where I used to cheat off of him in calculus exams. Now I have to invite him to my annual Christmas party, have dinner with him and his appalling wife three times a year, and say nice things about all his books. Kids, let this be a lesson to you.
Full disclosure: Andrea was my boss at the Brookings Institution, and I've always had my eye on her husband. Frankly, now that their marriage is on the rocks, I'm hoping that he will come to me for consolation during the inevitable messy divorce.
Full disclosure: George Donaldson is the head of the alumni admissions committee for the Dalton School, where my little Katie will be applying next year.
Full disclosure: Having seen Jennifer Schaeffer vomit the remains of the Cato annual dinner out her nose at the after party, I've never been able to take her work seriously.
Full disclosure: Egon and I went to Yale together, where we were both members of the crew team. Every time I hear him talking about drugs, I flash back to the time we made the mistake of putting "Big E" in charge of the ganja fund. I ask you: how can a man claim to be an expert on the subject when the one time he was actually given responsibility for drug policy, he came back with three pounds of grass clippings laced with oregano?
Full disclosure: James is a man who doesn't take "no" for an answer. He asked me out 138 times when we were interns at the CSPI, even after I told him that I had to wash my hair, attend a funeral for my aunt's dog, and had taken a vow of celibacy. The only way I could find to get him to stop was to get engaged to a former Big 10 fullback. You can assume that he was similarly persistent in demanding that I introduce his speech.
Full disclosure: Emily is one of those people that I really want to like, but I can't get over the fact that she is prettier than me, and also, makes more money. I have channeled all of my poisonous envy into this interview.
Full disclosure: I am unable to remember my opening remarks because I am hypnotized by the excessively vibrant green-and-pink plaid of Madison's suit. I had no idea you could buy clothes made out of upholstery fabric.
Full disclosure: Andrew Heller is a vicious human being whose superficial charm fools only those who have never met him before, or heard about him from someone who has. After one junior journalist wrote that his work was "Interesting, but a little too shrill for my taste", Mr Heller spent three years ceaselessly campaigning for her destruction. She was found three weeks ago in her car with empty bottles of SoCo and Valium, and a note that just said "It's just not worth the hassle." I would rather have all my teeth extracted without anaesthesia than say something that might offend him.
Full disclosure: I am hoping some day to overthrow Ming Lee in a bloodless coup. The best way to do this is to be superficially loyal in all public venues until she lets her guard down.
Full disclosure: I had to call Hubert for a quote, because he is a senior fellow at the think tank where I am currently interviewing on the sly.
Full disclosure: Sometimes, late at night, I fantasize about what it would be like if Sarah dressed up like a cafeteria lady, only a naughty cafeteria lady who would come into my bedroom and make me eat all my peas.
Full disclosure: I am being excessively nice about Al's book in order to cover up my discomfort and guilt for finding him completely physically repulsive.
Full disclosure: though Gordon and I are ostensibly on the same side, I've decided that his book would make a good "Sister Souljah" moment for me to launch my career as a transgressive freethinker who can't be tied down by the received wisdom of her political peers.
Full disclosure: I've never really gotten over the fact that when we were at Georgetown Law together, Hilary borrowed $200 off of me for car repairs and then "forgot" to pay me back. Also, she cheats at golf.
Full disclosure: I am a credulous fool who is easily wowed by any book written by a PhD, government official, or journalist who dresses better than I do. And I shop at Today's Man.
Posted by Jane Galt at October 17, 2006 4:48 PM
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Jane,
That was the best laugh I have had all day.
Jane, you ruined our secret!
Full disclosure: two years ago at a conference, John Chapman and I had a little too much tequila and ended up shagging like minks for three glorious nights.
Now that's an intriguing analogy ... do minks Hide the Salami more than other mammals?
What minks are noted for with regard to salami is that when they hide it, nobody can find it.
Thanks for the laughs, Jane.
I need to get another spare keyboard, however. Which will only make a total purchase of 6 for the year.
Full disclosure: I'll never wash off the screenspray from my monitor, not even with my keyboarding hand.
Now that's full disclosure I could learn to like. Thanks for giggle. There's too little to laugh about these days.
And that's the kind of writing I come to this site for. In between probing analysis on statistics, politics and the economy I get to have a giggle too.
Full disclosure: Sometimes, late at night, I fantasize about what it would be like if Sarah dressed up like a cafeteria lady, only a naughty cafeteria lady who would come into my bedroom and make me eat all my peas.
Jane, you're a very naughty girl!
You can't have any pudding until you eat all your peas.