March 5, 2007
From the desk of Jane Galt:I thought I was the only one
When I get up every morning, between brushing my teeth and putting in my contact lenses I like to spend a few quiet moments at my altar to Joel Stein. Located, naturally, on the lid of my Hope Chest, it's not an ostentatious affair: several photographs, a few candles, a Martha Stewart voodoo doll with a lobster pick driven through its cold, dead, heart; and of course, a fresh copy of the LA Times.
There's no set ritual. Sometimes I just meditate quietly while staring at the fine planes of his face. Sometimes I like to talk to Joel about my problems. Should I tell my mother how she's smothering me emotionally, or should I accept that that's just who she is? Is my career crowding out my personal life? Is it all right to hint to the people at the B-list party that you got invited to the A-list dinner beforehand? If I need Joel to grant me a favour, like tickets to a really hot concert, I just kneel there, light an incense stick and chant "I don't support our troops" until I am filled with an oceanic sense of bliss.
I guess I thought I was the only one. But Ross Douthat points out that that's not so. Apparently, everyone in my age group does this. I wish I'd known that sooner, because to be honest, lately I've kind of felt a longing for a spiritual community. Now I realise that I've had one at every coffee shop, club, or J Crew store I've ever been to.
Posted by Jane Galt at March 5, 2007 4:27 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links"); ?>I recall Ruth Buzzi's appearance on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, which was roasting Frank Sinatra.
Buzzi complained that he never contributed anything to her hope chest.
Sinatra replied, "I've seen your chest. There ain't no hope."
She proceeded to beat him senseless with her purse.
Posted by: D------- on March 5, 2007 4:59 PMAs one of the TNR posters notes, I think he's one of those "celebrities" on VH1 where you've never heard of them, but they're sneering at a song that 20 years later, I could not only sing every word of but could act out the entire video. It's a bad sign when I see the guys from Cheap Seats and think "Gee, they're really slumming!"
Posted by: JSinger on March 5, 2007 6:06 PMYou brush your teeth AND look at photographs BEFORE putting your contacts on?
Posted by: Person on March 5, 2007 8:21 PMJoel Stein speaking at the Hoover Institute:
"All everyone talks about here is Ronald Reagan and how wonderful he was."
http://fora.tv/fora/showthread.php?t=679
Posted by: jason on March 6, 2007 12:26 AMI'm in your age group and have no clue what you're talking about???
Posted by: Dave on March 6, 2007 8:52 AMAnd to think, I spent years in the same office building and didn't see the light! You are so lucky!
Posted by: CGorman on March 6, 2007 9:32 AMI believe I speak for a great many of my fellow 30-year-olds when I ask: who the $#@! is Joel Stein?!
Posted by: asg on March 6, 2007 9:56 AMDid my calendar stop? Suddenly I'm getting strong vibes that it's April 1st.
Sidd Finch, is that you?
Cheers,
Posted by: Rofe on March 6, 2007 10:58 AMThis blog rocks, but not enough of the content stands alone. This post is a great example. I don't like having to spend 30 seconds Google searching to understand some esoteric satire.
Posted by: Chris on March 6, 2007 11:53 AMI think "Joel who?" was exactly what our hostess was looking for. ;)
Posted by: Sebastian Holsclaw on March 6, 2007 2:40 PMJoel Stein? Jeez if arrogance is his schtick, well that's old had. And if he values himself that highly...well, that's old hat too.
Posted by: Xanthippas on March 6, 2007 4:00 PMIt is a wonder that a reinvention really only means shrinking in volume and scope. I recently read a copy at my health club (the first one I had read in about 2 or 3 years), and it consisted of practically nothing and only took about 20 minutes to read.
And like a lot of readers, I had to ask myself, "Who is Joel Stein?"
Posted by: Yancey Ward on March 7, 2007 9:44 AM