March 9, 2007
From the desk of Jane Galt:Not much war commentary has held up well
But this . . . this still stands as a work of genius:
Le president de France, Jacques Chirac, has appeared sur "les 60 Minutes" to expliquer au peuple de l'Amérique que France remains our cher ami et allié. Nous believe him. Encore, nous would like to expliquer l'Amérique in une langue that le Frenchman can comprendre.Nous acceptons that le French détestent la guerre. Nous des Américains détestons la guerre aussi. Mais nous also detestons Saddam Hussein. Comme John Wayne put it in "Le Jour Plus Long"--l'excellent film au sujet de la libération de la Normandie--"You can't give the enemy a break. Send him to hell." Maybe quelque chose gets lost in la traduction, but certainement vous get le point.
After all, tout le monde can voir that les idéaux that ont inspiré la révolution française--liberté, egalité, oil contracts--are vivants et well. Mais, juste because nous believe that Saddam est une menace à la paix while le gouvernement français believes that Saddam est un bon associé commercial, il ne signifie pas that we Américains n'apprécient pas les contributions françaises à our own culture. Par exemple, où would l'Amérique be sans le "French fry"? And so, as nous regardons beaucoup McDonald's sur la terre française, we can say, "Lafayette, les Golden Arches sont ici."
Ce n'est pas tout, either. Like vous, nous share votre l'embarras at les actions anti-françaises ici on the home front. Dans notre Capitol, le Congrès Républicain a changé le nom "pain grillé français" to "freedom toast." Dans Maison Blanche, notre president apparemment préfére Tex-Mex cuisine de haute. Et nos collègues over at le New York Post have taken to pasting visages des weasels on top des photos des diplomates français chez les Nations Unies.
Mais toujours rememberez-vous: Nous Américains ne sommes pas comme cultivés as les Francais. Oui, nous did sauvé your bacon dans WWII, et we seem préparé--avec l'aide des Anglais et Tony Blair--to do so encore. But comme un peuple we Américains still préférons le cheeseburger Boeuf bourguignon, le Coors aux Chablis, et le Hummer au Renault. Et we will never, never comprendrons pourquoi vous awarded la légion d'honneur à Jerry Lewis.
Enfin, Monsieur Le President Chirac, nous will not allow une petite thing like une guerre to come entre our deux grandes nations. Vive la différence, oui. Mais it is bien for Paris to learn le same message that Saddam is learning maintenant à Baghdad: "Ne messez pas avec le Texas."
I think I handed in a couple essays . . . excuse me essais . . . like that.
Posted by Jane Galt at March 9, 2007 4:13 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound linksHere’s the English translation (courtesy of Babelfish):
The president of France, Jacques Chirac, has appeared over "the 60 Minutes" to explain to the people of America that France remains our dear friend and ally. Us believe him. Still, us would like to explain America in a language that Frenchman edge to include/understand.We accept that French hate the war. We of the Americans hate the war too. But we also let us detestons Saddam Hussein. As John Wayne could it in "the Day Longer" -- the excellent film about the release of Normandy -- "You can' T give the enemy has station-wagon. Send him to hell." Maybe something gets lost in the translation, drank to certainly you get the point.
After all, everyone edge to see that the ideals that inspired the French revolution -- freedom, egality, oil contracts -- are alive and well. But, just because us believe that Saddam is a threat with peace while the French government believes that Saddam is a commercial associated good, it does not mean that we American do not appreciate the French contributions to our own culture. For example, where would America Be without the "French fry"? And so, have we look at much McDonald's on the French ground, we edge say, "Lafayette, the Goldens delicious Arches are here."
It is not all, either. Like you, us share the your embarrassment At the actions anti-Frenchwomen here one the home face. In our Capitol, the Republican Congress changed the name "toast French" to "freedom toast." In White House, our president apparently préfére Tex-Mex cook the high one. And our colleagues over At the New York Post cuts taken to pasting faces of the weasels one signal of the photographs of the French diplomats at the United Nations.
But always you will rememberez: We American are not as cultivated have the French. Yes, us did saved your bacon in WWII, and we seem prepared -- with the assistance of the English and Tony Blair -- to C so still. Drank as people we American still prefer the cheeseburger Boeuf bourguignon, Coors with Windfallen woods, and Hummer in Renault. And we will never, never will include/understand why you awarded the legion of honor in Jerry Lewis.
Lastly, Mr. President Chirac, us will not allow small a thing like a war to come between our two great nations. Live the difference, yes. But it is well for Paris to learn the same message that Saddam is learning maintaining in Baghdad: "do not messez with Texas."
Everything old is nouveau encore...
Currently: "A Pack, not a Herd"
~40 years ago:
"True, our people are not as well domesticated..ah.._civilized_ as yours.
Terran to alien in one of Poul Anderson's stories.
Chirac, et al ne tien pas la nuance, either,
and that is why the lights are going out
all over Europa, encore.
Anderson may be too subtle. try this from
"A Planet for Texans" by H. Beam Piper:
"Si un chien nous bitons,
we don't kick it, we shoot it."
That was a beautiful example of franglais. Here is another, from an Australian newspaper at the time of France's Pacific nuclear test:
An open letter to M. Jacques Chirac:
Mon cher Jack
Je suis a bit fromaged off avec votre decision to blow up La Pacifique avec le Frog bombes nuclears. Je reckon vous must have un spot in La Belle France itself pour les explosions. Le Massive Central? Le Quay d'Orsay? Le Champs Elysees? Votre own back yard, peut etre?
Frappez le crows avec stones, Sport! La guerre cold est fini! Votres forces militaire need la bombe atomique about as beacoup as poisson need les bicyclettes.
Un autre point, cobber. Votre histoire militaire isn't tres flash, consisting, n'est-ce pas, of battailles the likes of Crecy, Agincourt, Poitiers, Trafalgar, Borodino, Waterloo, Sedan, et Dien Bien Phu. Un bombe won't change le tradition. Je/mon pere/ mon grand pere/le cousing third avec ma grandmere/la plume de ma tante fought avec votre soldats against Le Boche in WWI (le Big One). Have vous forgotten?
Reconsider, mon ami, otherwise in le hotels et estaminets de l'Australie le curse anciens d'Angleterre - "Damnation to the French" - will be heard un autre temps.
Votre chums don't want that.
Millo
Here is another example of franglais that I saved. It is from a comment thread, and was posted the week that the British cemetery at Normandy was vandalized.
Mon cher NTM,
Je suis très urinee with vous. Vous can't tell la merde du shinola. How le fuque vous défendre le courage français quand nous avons vu un exemple juste this week? Il est damn facile au taunt par Anglais mort. Je vous invite à try it avec un real live Royal Marine.
I ri very beaucoup reading ces texts!Difficult to écrire like ça. But ne pas worriéer, Chirac won't etre president any plus dans two mois...
Great ton blog.
André
I ri very beaucoup reading ces texts!Difficult to écrire like ça. But ne pas worriéer, Chirac won't etre president any plus dans two mois...
Great votre blog.
André
Comments are Closed.