April 17, 2007
From the desk of Jane Galt:Where have I gone?
I'm guest-blogging at Andrew Sullivan this week. Plus blogging like mad on Free Exchange. Posting here will be light.
But here's an item that does belong here. On Saturday evening, I went to a play in Baltimore. My friend and I were chatting about the game friends and I used to play, in high school and college, of making up just barely believable stories to tell strangers, usually in bars. "So you were a pathological liar?" said my friend.
Not thirty minutes later, in the Japanese restaurant, I confirmed this opinion by unblushingly informing the waiter that I am allergic to seaweed, and asking them to make the rolls without it. Now, in fact, I am not allergic to seaweed; I just hate the taste of it. But "allergic" produces more willingness to help me out by making the rolls without seaweed than "I hate one of the major components of your national cuisine, please cater to my philistine tastes". I have used this line with great success in many other restaurants.
In this case, it backfired spectacularly; the restaurant first refused to serve me rolls, then nearly refused to serve me at all, while my friend tried desperately not to topple out of the chair and roll around on the floor in helpless laughter. Eventually, I succeeded in persuading them to sell me some food after "explaining" that seaweed won't put me into anaphylactic shock, but merely disagrees with my stomach. A sorrow shared may be halved, and a joy shared doubled, but a humiliation shared is at least cubed.
But here's the thing: I am under the impression that occasionally making up stories in bars (though I haven't done so in years), and claiming to be allergic to food that you merely despise, are very common things. Am I mistaken? Do I need therapy?
Posted by Jane Galt at April 17, 2007 9:11 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links"); ?>My ex used to claim to be allergic to mayonnaise because he hated it... He was pretty good at getting around actually having to specify the component to which he was allergic - that or the servers in restaurants we could afford back then didn't know that there are really only three ingredients to speak of, all of them pretty common.
Posted by: Jamie on April 17, 2007 9:44 PMYou do understand, don't you, that you can be both correct and in need of therapy?
Posted by: Bill on April 17, 2007 10:09 PMI'll assume for now that it is possible to make maki sushi without seaweed. Perhaps the geometry of the universe is highly non-Euclidean in your vicinity. But no, to my knowledge, enjoying telling elaborate lies to people and regularly telling lies to avoid the slightest inconvenience or embarrassment to oneself are not at all common. Not to mention that it's at least a little unethical to claim you have food allergies when you don't, since proper segregation of an allergen is probably much more time-consuming, burdensome, and stressful (given concerns aboud liability and the health department these days) than simply not using the ingredient. So yeah, that's pretty shady.
They do make this thing called "nigiri" for people like you. It's like roll sushi but without the roll.
Posted by: AT on April 17, 2007 10:30 PMWhenever I'm in Japan, I regularly ask for sushi without wasabi. I just look kind of sheepish say something which translates roughly as "I'm so sorry, but wasabi isn't my favorite food, so..." and leave it hanging. They get it. Who knows, maybe they think I'm just an idiot gaijin. But I get what I want and never worried about it.
Try that on your native Japanese server and see what happens.
Posted by: Rob Lyman on April 17, 2007 10:52 PMI have the opposite problem. I say that I don't like seafood (because I just don't like the taste) and restaurants get all confused and don't know what to do. Then one bright waiter says "OH! He's ALLERGIC to seafood." and now they are happy and relaxed, even if I try to deny it.
Posted by: doctorpat on April 17, 2007 10:54 PMYou're not so weird. I often "simplify" things for strangers. Friends and intimates have the privilege of hearing the brusque version: "I'm not eating your nasty seaweed/mayo/whatever."
We're often ill-treated, we casual liars. I once got a Sunday school lesson from a snack-bar cashier at the movies. I wanted a cup for the water fountain (against policy), so I fibbed a little.
I know another breed of liar, equally benign. A good friend of mine enjoys fabricating mundane stories about himself. They're never self-aggrandizing, self-serving or anything distasteful like that.
For example, he once told everyone that he didn't know how to swim. Another time he said he was at the grocery store when he was really in London. He usually reveals his lies a few weeks later to the delight of his friends. Sometimes he'll give us a count of how many lies he is juggling. It's a fun game, and he's very good.
Posted by: Lee on April 17, 2007 11:28 PMRob Lyman:
In my experience, the majority of sushi joints in NYC don't have native Japanese servers. But the corollary to that is that the majority of sushi joints in NYC won't put wasabi on your sushi.
Posted by: AT on April 17, 2007 11:29 PMHow do we know you aren't lying now, "Jane", if that's your real name?
Posted by: Hei Lun Chan on April 18, 2007 12:10 AMOh, hell, anybody who isn't certain that lying in bars, saloons, taverns and the like isn't as common as bluffing at a poker tournament either hasn't spent enough time in places like that, or really needs to sharpen their powers of observation.
Posted by: Will Allen on April 18, 2007 1:21 AMJane, the answers to your questions depends on your answer to this one: is it normal to lie in blog comments?
Posted by: LAN3 on April 18, 2007 1:33 AMI used to do it a lot (infact I still do). Kinda like my get to know you routine. My favorite is to make outrageous stories with enough details (factual). By the end of it you get to know who is naive, well informed and a whole lot more.
Posted by: bhuvan aflatoon on April 18, 2007 7:17 AMLying to strangers in bars is very common -otherwise it would be boring. Lying about allergies is polite, prevents insults and makes everyone feel better. (In the worst case your friends who enjoy your humiliation.)
Posted by: Amelia on April 18, 2007 8:02 AMSometimes I tell 'em that the abhorant food is against my religion. But afterwards I always say to myself, 'now why did I do that?'
Posted by: Anson Young on April 18, 2007 8:09 AMIt's only bad if you lied about taking the concert tickets off the dead guy.
Where's Thorley Winston when we need him?
Posted by: Flynn on April 18, 2007 8:26 AMI agree with Will and Amelia. I thought pretty much everyone played that game.
Posted by: frank on April 18, 2007 8:47 AMIt is very common to lie about food allgergies and to people in bars. It's also wrong because it is too easy to get out of the habit of telling the truth. Pretty soon you will start fibbing to your doctor/lover/boss/a judge about things that seem insignficant, and before long find yourself in a heap of trouble.
Posted by: american in europe on April 18, 2007 9:12 AMYou are insufficiently direct. I tell the waitress that if they put onions on the hamburger that I will throw up on their floor. It's not a lie as I am perfectly willing to do so. The thought of raw fish on rice is too horrible to contemplate. The worst breakfast of my life was fish soup with seaweed after a short night and a big hangover.
Posted by: Zoot Fenster on April 18, 2007 9:32 AMIn my experience, the majority of sushi joints in NYC don't have native Japanese servers.
Then it's odd to think of yourself saying "your national cuisine" to them.
Posted by: Rob Lyman on April 18, 2007 9:54 AMBars? Try working in corporate America for more than a week without telling a lie.
Posted by: Reagan Fan on April 18, 2007 9:59 AMIt's fun, too, to see if you can expose someone who is lying. For instance, your new acquaintance brags that they're in investment banking and know The Donald. So you make up a story, "Yeah, how about that story his morning about the guy at Morgan Stanley who was arrested for laundering drug money?" A real i.b. would say, "I didn't hear about it. What's the scoop?"
A liar is likely to say, "Yeah, that was something. I know a guy who knows him."
I'll often lie to strangers who ask innocuous questions that I nonetheless consider intrusive. So, I have lied to store clerks about what my job is, to a barber about where I live, and to a nosy customer about being married (I'm not).
And I consider myself to be an honest person...
Posted by: Chris Anderson on April 18, 2007 10:25 AMI have found that it is very common for people to lie like this, but I've always found it a little disturbing. In the people I've seen do it, these white lies are linked to a lack of self-confidence. They are afraid of deviating from the social norms or people thinking poorly of them.
In the case of avoiding foods I don't like (in my case cheese and nuts), I found it's easier to just tell someone I don't want it. It is normal not to like some foods that most people like. It is normal to like foods that few people like (some people still eat liver and onions-eeek). You do not have to make up an excuse for not wanting it.
In the case of the bar lies, it depend on what you trying to do. Are you looking for a potential long term mate? This is THE WORST way to do it. Even the smallest lies will trap you in the long run into attempting to be something you are not. My wife and I have had great amount of happiness that we think comes from not ever trying to be someone else around each other. We meet by being who we are and accepting who the other person in BRUTALLY honest fashion. This is not easy to do, because it is natural for us to cover up who we are. In my limited experience, it is the only way I can see continuing a long term relationship.
However, if you just enjoy role-playing with people you will not likely see again, I say go for it. Ooh, look at the time. I need to get home, so I can catch an early flight out tomorrow for my job as an international super-spy. Would like a ride in my Porsche? (-;
Quick follow-up: there are obviously some lines you don't cross. For years I had a military-style haircut (because I liked the way it looked) and had a military base credit union debit card (because they bought the small credit union I originally belonged to). On seeing both, some people made the assumption that I was or had been in the Air Force and made mention of it. It may be tempting to lie just to smooth your way through that, but being a veteran is something I wouldn't lie about.
Posted by: Chris Anderson on April 18, 2007 10:35 AMIt is normal not to like some foods that most people like.
This must be some new definition of the word "normal" with which I was previously unfamiliar.
Do you think that there's something wrong with not being normal? Normal has no value, in and of itself. I take pride in many of my abnormalities.
Posted by: Rand Simberg on April 18, 2007 11:00 AMYou and Andrew? That's an odd pairing, to say the least. On top of that, there appears to be no identifiers on your posts at his blog. Only the most regular and religious readers of Andrew's blog will know it's you. The rest of the world will just conclude that Andrew has become a bit more sane, a clearer thinker and, perhaps, an economist.
Posted by: AJ on April 18, 2007 11:28 AMI routinely change one or two digits in my phone number when asked for it by cashiers. I will also lie when asked for my demographic information online.
Posted by: Klug on April 18, 2007 11:36 AMNevermind - I see that the identifiers are at the beginning of the posts. Oops.
Posted by: Aj on April 18, 2007 11:43 AMI stopped reading Andrew Sullivan years ago. He's everything that's crazy and self-serving in the gay male community.
How exactly did gay marriage get on the table in the wake of the AIDS epidemic? The AIDS epidemic provided overwhelming proof that the "stereotype" of gay men was fact. And Sullivan might be Exhibit A.
I don't believe that gay men should be persecuted. (They weren't either.) It's pretty obvious that the mass movement out of the closet was a disaster of death and disease. Gay men need to return to the closet, find a fag hag to marry and keep quiet about their sexual practices. It's better for them, better for us.
Sullivan is Cartman, you know, the incredibly spoiled bullying brat on South Park. Sullivan is Cartman incarnate. Sullivan's public statements and his leadership of the gay marriage fiasco... well these are the tactics of a spoiled brat Cartman.
It doesn't say much about this blogger that she would associate with this Cartman. She's clearly bought into the Cartman logic. There is no need for gay men to be acknowledged publicly. They deserve no rights for their destructive sexual behavior. They need to go back into the closet for their own good, and for that of the society at large. Hypocrisy is sometimes a good thing. Gay men should lead lives of hypocrisy, married to a fag hag, producing children. This will limit their promiscuity and keep more of them alive.
Now, please explode in adolescent rage and lecture about this spoiled brat "civil rights" movement. I'll ignore it. I know the difference between my ass and a hole in the ground. I don't expect most of you to be capable of this level of wisdom.
Posted by: Shouting Thomas on April 18, 2007 11:47 AMThe only troll I ever liked was the one in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Posted by: Reagan Fan on April 18, 2007 12:26 PMJane, you can also ask for your nori (seaweed) to be replaced with cucumber skin. While not traditional, that is something that a significant number of sushi places are willing to do, if you really want to eat sushi rolls.
But another commenter had it right - just order nigiri (fish on rice sushi) and sashimi (just fish), and you can avoid seaweed without causing significant substitution problems and the moral difficulties associated with lying.
Posted by: Sisyphus on April 18, 2007 12:32 PMI used to lie to my parent's about how I was doing in school so I could bring my grade up by the semester without any fuss. I guess I feel bad about it?
Posted by: MicahChamberlain on April 18, 2007 12:45 PMIt is common sense to assume that everything you hear in a bar is a lie.
Posted by: mobile on April 18, 2007 1:21 PMWhy bother lying about anything? Life is easier if you only have to remember the facts, and not omigodwhatstorydidItellSallylastweekaboutwhathappenedlastnight?
I guess I just don't have any patience for the games people play.
Posted by: bkw on April 18, 2007 1:30 PMI have used the allergy lie in the past myself, particularly at restaurants. If I tell the waitress "I don't like mayonnaise" (BLECH), and to leave it off, I may or may not end up with mayo. If I say I am _allergic_ usually they are far more conscientious about actually leaving the mayo off, saving everyone the hassle of me having to send my food back.
It turns out, however, that there may be some negative externalities to this (in my opinion) common practice.
My husband is allergic to tree nuts (almonds, pecans, etc). Real, honest to goodness, anaphylactic shock and die kind of allergic. Even a very small amount of oil causes a reaction.
My husband has, on more than one occasion, been met with open suspicion by people who believe he is making up an allergy to avoid eating something he doesn't like.
This is probably partly the fault of those of us who are making up allergies to avoid eating things we don't like. =)
BKW:
omigodwhatstorydidItellSallylastweekaboutwhathappenedlastnight?
Apparently, you told her you are clairvoyant.
But another commenter had it right - just order nigiri (fish on rice sushi) and sashimi (just fish), and you can avoid seaweed without causing significant substitution problems and the moral difficulties associated with lying.
Or, if you want the sushi experience at its most basic, you can dispense with the fish entirely and just get a bowl of tape worms.
Posted by: Peter on April 18, 2007 2:16 PMOK, I'm going to sound like the stickiest of sticks in the mud, and I recognize that I am only one data point, but I personally would never do something like that. It never occurs to me to construct little, convenient, lies (perhaps just because I'm just not clever enough), and I lose a lot of respect and trust for people who do. I much prefer to believe in the honesty and integrity of people, and that sort of thing shakes my confidence in anything that person might say. In my life, almost to a man, the people I have seen regularly tell white (or light gray) lies were sleazebags. Intelligent, clever sleazebags.
(No, I am not accusing you, someone I greatly admire, of being a sleazebag. I wouldn't know, but I'd assume not.)
To be sure, that might help explain why, at 44, I'm still unmarried :).
Was the restaurant a real Japanese restaurant? If so then the lesson is: Don't mess with Japanese people and their food. Unlike the Chinese who will eat anything for enjoyment (and I mean this as a compliment), the Japanese take their food culture very seriously.
Posted by: Zhong lu on April 18, 2007 2:39 PMWhen women ask what I do, I tell them I'm an ant farmer, meaning that I raise and sell ants for money. I start by pointing out that chocolate-covered ants are eaten in Mexico, and that ants don't just grow on trees. Then I make up progressively more absurd uses for various kinds of ants. For example, I tell them that I sell army ants to the military for use in battle. Or that I sell carpenter ants to home builders.
No one's ever called my bluff. Eventually I get tired of waiting for them to figure it out and just tell them the truth.
Posted by: Brandon Berg on April 18, 2007 2:52 PMWas the restaurant a real Japanese restaurant? If so then the lesson is: Don't mess with Japanese people and their food.
If it was (and I doubt it was if the refused to serve her on that basis), I think the difficulties would arise not from an unwillingness to accommodate a customer, especially a towering gaijin elf woman, but from an inability to imagine that roll sushi can be made without rolls. In a real Japanese restaurant, you would probably need a five minute conversation to make the concept clear but they would then happily oblige.
It's also possible that they were just really tired of hearing the "seaweed allergy" explanation.
Posted by: AT on April 18, 2007 3:00 PMMy friend and I were chatting about the game friends and I used to play, in high school and college, of making up just barely believable stories to tell strangers, usually in bars. "So you were a pathological liar?" said my friend.
I often tell people that I like to play this game, even though its not true.
Posted by: dedalus275 on April 18, 2007 3:02 PMI never made up stories to tell people in bars, but in college a favorite game of mine was to sit with a buddy in the college square and make highly offbeat but apparently sincere comments within earshot of passers-by. Things like, "Wow, that's the last time I eat an entire raw pumpkin!" or "I really didn't think my whole fist would fit in there!" Most people never reacted, if they heard at all, but we'd get the occasional flinch or funny expression that made it worthwhile...
Posted by: Scott on April 18, 2007 3:14 PMthe more fun game is to introduce your friend to someone at a bar and tell the lie they will have to try and pass off. "Oh- this is my friend Chris- he is a professional cricket player who is visiting for the weekend."
Posted by: spot on April 18, 2007 5:07 PMScott,
"It never occurs to me to construct little, convenient, lies"
So when a female friend/relative gets a really nasty-looking hairdo, or are wearing a very unflattering outfit, and they ask you what you think, you say "...?"
Posted by: exhelodrvr on April 18, 2007 5:25 PMI am a scrupulously honest person, to the point where I had a manager list that as a liability during an annual review.
I also have no problem making stuff up when people ask me inappropriate questions. These are not irreconcilable viewpoints. Professionally and personally, if you have a true need-to-know, you get the response you deserve.
And if you are a prying nosey parker (use that, Jane!), you also get what you deserve. This includes the damned US Census bureau when they go beyond their Constitutionaly mandated questions, which are limited to purposes of representation in the House of Representatives.
I don't think your "I'm allergic to seaweed" claim falls into the "white lie" category. The consequence of the claim may well be a lot of extra effort to avoid creating a health problem for you. Effort that could be avoided if the cook knew the truth. The work to prevent an allergic reaction is apt to be far greater than that needed to avoid your tasting seaweed. I doubt you'd knowingly put people through all that extra trouble for no reason, so I don't think the lie makes you a "bad" person. Just ignorant and a tad self-centered.
As for the game you've played of telling tall tales to strangers, I'm not sure how to feel about that. I love telling tall tales and do it all the time. However, I always assume the person I'm telling the story to KNOWS it's a story. To me it's just a bit of improv theatre. I assume the audience is in on the joke. Frequently, they will jump in and take a part in the unscripted play. For example, as we were driving through Idaho on vacation, I started telling tales about my Idaho relatives (of which I have none) and the summers I used to spend on the potato farm, moving sprinkler pipes and building tree-houses in the potato trees. My wife immediately wove herself into the fabric of the tale. My kids joined in and we kept building more outrageous and elaborate tales. Ever hear of the great potato famine of 1967? It was caused when a potato barge went over the twin falls.... Great fun. At least we think so. (We pity the unsuspecting souls who will mary into our family. Nothing could have prepared them for our strange sense of humor.)
On the other hand, sometimes when telling my tall tales, it becomes apparent that my "audience" is unaware I'm giving a performance. It can be very tempting to see just how far I can push the story before they catch on. At times, I've followed that temptation. It can be a very heady experience. (Isn't that part of the reason con-men do what they do, the thrill of putting something over?) I've found that I don't like myself so very much after such a performance. In the midst of the story telling, it seems like I'm proving I'm smarter than my victim. It's fun to feel superior. Once the rush is over, I realize all I did was take advantage of another's courtesy and basic decency. Superior intellect had little to do with it. All I proved was a willingness to have fun at the expense of another -- to cast another in the role of fool. That's not the kind of person I want to be. YMMV.
Posted by: David Walser on April 19, 2007 5:50 AMMessing with people's heads for amusement is low and shabby, and bespeaks a rather pitiable level of boredom and unproductiveness. It ain't art, it's abuse, striking a pose, lolling in one's fake "cool" at the expense of others.
However, I fired a holier-than-thou truth-proud receptionist who instead of saying "Ms. X is in conference. May she call you back?" said "Ms. X has been out to lunch for the last three hours" [birthday, out-of-town old friend, no appointments, etc]. The definition of "lie" reduces to right-to-know, kindness, pragmatism, convention, matters essential or adiophoria, etc.
Posted by: who, me? on April 19, 2007 8:53 AMI don't do either, but that's mostly because I'm a terrible liar.
Posted by: Alsadius on April 19, 2007 9:14 AMI can still hear my parents' refrain from my formative years, "Everybody lies, don't be so free with your trust." Of the times that I have been burned by someone, it was because I fell for a lie. And as I reviewed those instances, I can admit that the little voice sounded the warning. I got burned because I was too free with my trust or wanted to believe the lie.
Posted by: Israel on April 19, 2007 9:46 AMWords are merely tools to reach a goal. If you are not comfortable enough with your goal, you resort to lying, which pollutes your brain with negative emotions like guilt & inadequacy, having to remember the lie (to remain consistent), and the need to oversee other people's behavior (which is impossible, as the article proves).
Live is too complex to lie!
Posted by: Chris on April 19, 2007 10:21 AMThe theme song for this post is "Knock 'Em Out" by Lily Allen.
Posted by: Zubon on April 19, 2007 10:32 AMThe only time* it is acceptable at all to lie in bars is if you are a guy AND you are trying to get laid. At MOST one of these applies to you, so you've got to change your evil ways, baby.
Like you would even HAVE to lie, or the truth would not be sufficiently captivating!
Mutually understood tall-tale competitions, though, are morally acceptable.
*OK, lying about your age is acceptable for anybody.
Posted by: jens on April 19, 2007 12:12 PMJane,
Admitting this was probably not the best career move. You've given your opponents a big spear to skewer you with. At least it has tarnished your reputation.
And, like most everything else in life, practice makes perfect in the art of lying. If you practice that in social situations it prepares you to do it in business situations. What Would John Galt Do?
This particular lie is also problematic because it trivializes food allergies. It's 'the boy who cried wolf' spread across a spectrum of customers, for the servers and cooks. Yeah, yeah, everyone's allergic to something. And the cooks drop their guards and leave in just a little bit. And nothing bad ever happens. They start to think, "no one ever dies from eating just a little of something they claim to be allergic to." Until someone who is truly severely allergic happens to eat there.
I happen to be severely allergic to mushrooms. I've passed out and had my stomach pumped twice when servers didn't take my alleged allergy seriously. I'm not looking forward to the day when the ambulance is a little late and they can't pump my stomach because my throat has swollen closed.
Posted by: Aristides on April 19, 2007 1:43 PMAs someone else pointed out, lying is wrong. Lying about a food allergy is even worse. Seaweed is a normal component and is constantly being handled. Now you are making them worry about inadvertantly making you sick if they put a piece of seaweed in your food.
How many other 'allergies' are claimed simply because the person doesn't like a certain ingredient.
Next time, just ask if they can prepare your rolls without seaweed. Simple and truthfull.
You also wrote "I have used this line with great success in many other restaurants" as well as "I haven't done so in years".
Which is it Jane? Are you a liar, or not?
PS: Your answer - It's not common, you are mistaken and you need to tell the truth. An opinion about therapy would be beyond my knowledge.
Scott,
"It never occurs to me to construct little, convenient, lies"
Very good thing that you aren't married, then. It strongly reduces the chance that you'll be involved in a dialogue like this:
"Does my dress make me look fat?"
"No, your fat makes you look fat."
It's a good thing to lie about such a question. It prevents divorce and homicide...
Posted by: markm on April 19, 2007 3:17 PMmarkm:
Would you be happy with someone who has neither self-knowledge nor a sense of humor?
Posted by: Chris on April 19, 2007 3:30 PMPretty clever, "Jane", pretty clever. Making up stories about making up stories, and claiming to be posting at Andrew Sullivan's site to cover up for whatever you reallly are doing. So what are you really doing, and who's posting under your name at Sullivan's site? It can't be John LeCarre, although that would be pretty cool...
Now if you are really posting at Sullivan's site, does that mean we're going to see words like "Christianist", "theocon" and even "Christofascist" used in postings here?
"Where did Dinesh D'Souza acquire this remarkable talent for opening his mouth wide enough to fit his entire foot in clear down to the small intestine?"
Classic
Posted by: Rishi Gajria on April 19, 2007 10:34 PMI had a roommate in college who was so gullible, it was like a continual challenge to tell her a more outrageous lie than the one she believed before. I finally gave up after I got her to believe that James Joyce and Muhammed Ali were co-starring in a movie called "The Ironbutt Wars."
The allergic thing is my son's way of not eating food he doesn't like. He doesn't just dislike mushrooms or kidney beans -- he's "allergic."
Posted by: johnstodder on April 20, 2007 12:43 AM...claiming to be allergic to food that you merely despise, are very common things. Am I mistaken?
No, you're not and it's a pain in the rump to those of us who genuinely have food allergies, when we come across a cook who's going to teach a lying, faddish eater a lesson. I once gave an acquaintance a graphic proof that I wasn't putting her on, when I capped an otherwise charming dinner party by vomiting on her living room carpet then passing out.
FFS, aren't restaurants supposed to be part of the service industry? If they can't - or won't - accomodate your preferences, you should feel quite free to either go elsewhere or drink a lot of tap water.
Posted by: Craig Ranapia on April 20, 2007 12:53 AMJane, you are 33, try acting with grace and maturity at all times. Pretend a child of yours is watching. Would you want to have to explain the intricacies of your prevarications to the child? So, stop lying!
(Of course such things are very commonly done, but do you really want to just follow the lowest common denominator?)
I think most people who object to second hand smoke just don't like the smell, or the realization that they are breathing other peoples used air, or something else equally neurotic, and are lying when they claim that it causes cancer. Or that they're allergic.
On a side note, has anyone else thought that Cho's play lifted characters and plots directly from the web comic "Achewood"?
Posted by: Phil-Z on April 20, 2007 8:59 AMIt just doesn't seem right for you to be posting about abortion at someone else's blog. This is where those posts belong. This is where YOU belong. Unless of course, Sullivan is paying you more than you are being tipped here, in which case the marketplace is working its magic, and I completely understand . . . though it's still wrong.
Posted by: AJ on April 20, 2007 11:10 AMWow! When she said posting was going to be light, she really meant it.
I can't even work myself up enough to go over there and read Jane. It just wouldn't be the same.
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That's all right, Jane. {sniff sniff} We understand. We saw the signs...working for that British tabloid...dating a liberal...going all semi-vegan on us...heck, we were even proud the times you filled in for Glenn...but, even then we knew, we knew deep inside that we wouldn't be able to keep you...all good things, ya know....
sigh...
"Blog lights, big city" I suppose. You're off to Sullivan this week. Where to next? HuffPo? Kos? Some day, years from now, when you are the CEO of Gawker, WSJ, and High Times--all at the same time, you will be overlooking Central Park in your penthouse office and your PA will come in and ask about a silly little monthly charge on your credit card for something called 'AI'. For just a moment, you will think of the early years and recall all the good times. You will log on and see that your last post, which has 72,814 comments and was fittingly titled, Where Have I Gone? Then, looking out the window, you'll whisper softly, "Where indeed?"
And then you'll cancel the account.*
(blots a Reagan tear from eye) At least we'll always have your really, really, really, really, long post about gay marriage that in the end, doesn't lean one way or the other.
That's not exactly Paris, but then again, I'm not exactly Bogart, either.
*Hey look, I like you and all, but I just don't see you as the sentimental type.
Posted by: Reagan Fan on April 20, 2007 12:12 PMReagan Fan
Well done. If this doesn't get a response, nothing will.
Posted by: AJ on April 20, 2007 12:22 PMI work in that restaurant!
The other night, a tall woman really did come in claiming that she was allergic to seaweed. The waiter came back and told us, and we all laughed and laughed, since all of a bunch of us had worked in restauarants for decades and knew there was no such thing as a seaweed allergy and have heard countless fake allergy claims. But seaweed, that was classic.
At first we thought she was just so precious that we wanted to give her a special free dessert, but when we realized how much extra time her fake allergy would cost us, we started to get mad. And then, we got even.
We peeked out every now and then and had the waiter report to us--it was priceless! You ate every last drop.
We have laughed about it every day since then. I hope you didn't get too sick! Anyway, I hear it is actually good for you.
Posted by: I Work In That Restaurant! on April 20, 2007 1:04 PMNow, please explode in adolescent rage and lecture about this spoiled brat "civil rights" movement. I'll ignore it. I know the difference between my ass and a hole in the ground. I don't expect most of you to be capable of this level of wisdom.
Right, right...so the hole in the ground is the one that is smaller, and, I would surmise, contains lesser quantities of accessible prose.
Posted by: anony-mouse on April 20, 2007 2:13 PMWould you be happy with someone who has neither self-knowledge nor a sense of humor?
Oooooh, bad move, Chris. The number of females who have that kind of humor sense are in very short supply. So unless you're trying to price yourself out of the market, you need to realize that a question like that is a code phrase for "Do you really find me attractive after these ten years and two kids?", with your opinion on the dress being only part of the 'correct' answer -- whereas an incorrect answer means a week of freezing sleet in the relationship.
Posted by: anony-mouse on April 20, 2007 2:20 PMI never lie.
By the way, Jane, I'm a single guy. I stand 6'4' and weigh 210 lbs. I run, lift, and do pilates- I'm cut like a sculpture and sport six pack abs. I like driving my sports car, playing piano, and hiking up large mountains. I'm a highly succesful importer/exporter.
Want to go out?
Posted by: Jay on April 20, 2007 5:40 PM
Jay, are you really the President and CEO of Vandelay Industries? Whatever happened to Art?
You can say, "I'm mildly allergic to ((X)) - it disagrees with me." That won't put other people to much bother, and it's easier on both sides than explaining "I really dislike ((X))."
As far as making stories up in bars, ummm. No. That's extremely disrespectful of the other person. But then again, I don't frequent bars so it wouldn't be me you skegged on.
It does seem like an interesting scene for a movie, though. Hmmm.
Posted by: Twill00 on April 21, 2007 12:01 AMi often do something similar to you and the seaweed, but with onions. however... raw onion will in fact make me vomit. i'm not allergic, i can eat cooked onion. but i figure saying i'm "allergic" is close enough to the truth, since i will in fact have a violent reaction.
Posted by: danielle on April 21, 2007 12:35 AMPhil-Z: "I think most people who object to second hand smoke just don't like the smell, or the realization that they are breathing other peoples used air, or something else equally neurotic, and are lying when they claim that it causes cancer. Or that they're allergic."
Smoke gives me clogged sinuses, a sore throat, and burning eyes. You'd hurt me less by punching me in the nose than by smoking where I can't get away from it. I think it's not really an allergy, but just an extreme form of the normal physiological reactions to inhaling smoke - which contains many more poisons than just nicotine.
Of course, if you're a nicotine addict, you're probably rationalizing that I'm lying...
I am not in favor of government-imposed smoking bans on private property. It should be banned where people truly don't have the choice of leaving - that is, government offices - but there are more than enough people who appreciate a smoke-free environment to make it worthwhile for many restaurants and employers to ban smoking on their premises.
Posted by: markm on April 22, 2007 7:28 AMA co-worker asked me if I ever lie. I told him "Of course I lie."
And then left him with a parting thought --
"Nice tie, by the way."