Asymmetrical Information

When the U.S. government made emergency food shipments to starving people in Afghanistan shortly after the fall of the Taliban, one of the "food" items included were boxes of Pop Tarts.

Chocolate pop tarts are terrific when they are hot. The S'mores ones are really disgusting. So are the hot fudge sundae ones.

Somewhere in the past week this blog got really, really good. Stimulating, entertaining, even cathartic.

Megan, I must say I'm more than a little disappointed in you. I read this site because you're usually above characterizing people you happen to disagree with as "evil".

Yet here you are blithely asserting that liberals are trying to feed S'mores to poor people. Next you'll be calling them socialists, or claiming that they're fans of Jar-jar Binks.

Where does it end?

I'm pretty sure that the paste in the middle of pop tarts is the same stuff regardless of the flavor; it's just treated with different artificial (i.e. chemical) flavors and colors to make it taste like "strawberry" or "cherry" or whatever. Still, I can't shake the feeling that the fruit-flavored ones are somehow more nutritious than the chocolate flavored ones.

Jane-

Frosted brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts are the best.

Anyone who disagrees is a tree hugging commie weenie...

When the Kellogg's Revolution (tm) comes, Jane will be first against the wall.

T-

That's why I never want to visit a pop tart manufacturing facility. I would probably never eat on again.

I like smores. My wife and kids love them. But there is no accounting for taste.

However, I think that the difference between liberals and conservatives is a much more interesting topic.

In my experience liberals are faster to turn a policy discussion into a personal attack. And conservatives are (counter-intuitively) more willing to put up with differing opinions and the conflict of ideas.

I am always frustrated when a liberal will demand that everyone has the right to their own opinion in one breath, and then in the next breath will insist that some conservative opponent be dragged into the street and shot over an opinion that they hold. I haven't seen nearly as much of that sort of hypocrisy from conservative camps. I mark it up to the conservatives having learned the lesson of Joe McCarthy--that this sort of personal attack is counterproductive.

I also find that conservative people seem to have stronger independent streaks than liberals. These traits are all related--maybe call them common psychological markers instead of stereotypes.

I'm not saying that these are definitive traits that are present in one group and absent in another. I'm just talking in a matter of degrees. Certainly hypocrites and personal attacks are rampant on both sides.

But I think that this helps explain the talk show enigma. Conservatives are able to listen to Rush and Sean spout their opinions and do not feel threatened. A good idea here, a bad idea there, wrapped in sarcasm and witticisms. It is entertaining, and lightly informative. And each individual conservative doesn't care much if Sean or Rush disagrees with them on any particular issue. Everything is fair for debate, and disagreeing with me doesn't make you evil.

Liberals, on the other hand, listen to a liberal radio host until that person disagrees with them on some important issue. And as soon as the disagreement comes (and it inevitably does) then the radio host is branded as a devil and rejected.

That's my theory, anyway. I think it is borne out in major politics as well. Liberals seem to find one reason why they can't vote for a candidate. Conservatives seem more willing to forgive a candidate for a few flaws.

I think it would make an interesting experiment for some bright researcher to measure the willingness of each camp to overlook disagreements with their individual leaders. Probably another commenter will know of such a study.

Frosted brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts are the best.

When I was a wee, sugar-loving child, we saw an ad for brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts, and pestered my mom to buy them. This was when Pop Tarts were first released. They were revolting.

Since then I have had many a Pop Tart, but never the brown sugar ones. Perhaps they've been made edible in the interim forty years, but I'm not risking it.

When the U.S. government made emergency food shipments to starving people in Afghanistan shortly after the fall of the Taliban, one of the "food" items included were boxes of Pop Tarts.

DOES AMERICAN EVIL KNOW NO BOUNDS??

Arisitdes, are you overtly trying to be hilarious? You left off 'enlightened' and 'like me' each time you typed in conservative, and 'childish' each time you typed in liberal.

Slightly more seriously than Arisitdes' "all my friends are good people, all my opponents are bad people" appraisal of the divide...

David Frum, speechwriter for Bush in the first year or two of the Bush Administration, characterized the difference as "conservatives are loyal to people, liberals are loyal to ideas." I don't know how you'd ever measure that, but it rings true for me.

Okay, wait, S'mores are gross but Pop-Tarts are okay.

You'r disgusting. Pop-Tarts are the worst food substance on the planet (and I've eaten Haggis, Nato and Vegimite). How you can actually eat that is beyound me.

Besides, have you ever had a S'more with a homemade marshmellow? Homemade marshmellows make you go, "oh, this is what it's supposed to taste like!"

Yum, yum, yum.

In my experience liberals are faster to turn a policy discussion into a personal attack. And conservatives are (counter-intuitively) more willing to put up with differing opinions and the conflict of ideas.

I'm sorry, who just turned a discussion about S'mores and Pop-Tarts into a policy discussion debating the relative merits (or lack thereof) of political idiology?

Oh Irony, there you are! How I've missed you. Come, sit a while.

Arisitdes -

Every party needs a pooper. That's why we invited you.

You ate NATO? Not even the USSR could accomplish that!

I'm not a lover of pop tarts, but "Nutter Butters" are the best, even though they are only 2 steps removed from petroleum distillate. I think Smores are an ambience food, much like caught fish grilled on a campfire.

First they came for my trans fat,
and i said nothing

then they came for my s'more flavored pop tarts;
and still i said nothing...

S'mores are favored by boy and girl scouts. They're a conservative food. Liberals dine on the equally crappy gorp(trailmix).

Nonetheless, they are inexplicably popular among my countrymen, which just goes to show that we will put anything in our mouths if it is sugary enough.

Typical east coast pansy talk from someone who has never hiked a proper-sized mountain.

The secret of s'mores is to eat them during a camping trip, and no other time (certainly not in the form of a pop tart). First, because camping trips limit your foodstores and longer trips are largely limited to non-perishables; and second, because they're one of the best foods you can produce that involves an open fire. Albiet marshmallow roasting, much like broiling, requires technique. Regardless of your taste for darkness, there is a narrow window of distance from the coals, and a narrow window of time once the marshmallow begins to turn, that will yield a pallatable product.

This excepts the "cremate it and feed me the ashes" freaks, who should have just pulled one of the coals and let it cool to an edible temperature, rather than destroying a perfectly good marshmallow.

The s'more, like a home-made doughnut, is only good during that brief time when it is fresh and hot. If you haven't had the real thing, it would readily explain why you don't like the thought of 'em.

I guess this is supposed to be funny, but it just gives me that queasy feeling I should laugh so the comedienne doesn't look a fool. Better luck...

Let's see. If I understand the topic, a conservative would sell S'mores flavoured Pop-Tarts to anyone, including children in slums. And discuss on radio how people can get the product in their local store.

A liberal would want to be seen donating the S'mores flavoured Pop-Tarts to shelters and registered poor people. They would want to use radio to organize sit-ins and protests to disrupt city services until everyone had access. Only, that wouldn't be as successful, since many of the people they should be agitating are too busy or uninterested in S'mores flavoured Pop-Tarts to get involved. And organizing the 'party faithful' to fill in just wouldn't have the same impact.

On the other hand, every writer on the Internet sounds like the voice of ten. So getting even a few advocates sounding enthused can be enough to empower a movement that looks like it is getting those S'mores flavoured Pop-Tarts where they are needed, while still meeting liberal needs -- building reputations and generating donations.

Of course, I have misunderstood the world around me before, and likely will again.

Liberals hate people whereas conservatives don't mind them too much.

Marshmallows are made out of horses hooves not petroleum. You can even make them at home.

see when you forget the first ingredients of smores, they don't work.

First, it helps to be a kid, or at least child-like. Second you need a campfire, preferably as part of a camping trip... it is only then that you actually make the thing itself... assuming you don't just decide to eat the parts individually, as is sometimes a child's want. I tend to toast the marshmallows on a stick over the campfire, trying to keep them from burning, but some people prefer to cut to the chase and just light them on fire...

It also helps a great deal if you have been doing all those outdoor activities that come along with a camping trip... it helps the flavor of the food a great deal. Especially the tiny little trout you caught, or the stew in the dutch oven... or the brats you are roasting also on sticks... the bottles of beer or root beer pulled from a river.

OK, so maybe it's the whole package... s'mores pop-tarts on the other hand, is the poser route, IMHO

Liberals hate people whereas conservatives don't mind them too much.

Hee!

Conservatives hate aminals whereas Liberals adopt stray pets and forego meat.

Sorry in advance:

or the brats you are roasting also on sticks

Well, if they were so poorly behaved in the first place, why did you take them on a camping trip?

The only poptart I will eat, to further Jane's commone about if it has enough sugar, is ... wait for it... wait....Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts.

Frankly, when they discontinued the Frosted Dutch Apple Poptarts, I never recovered.

And, yes, my dear non-Americans, marshmallows are American Vegimite. At best, they are an aquired taste. And for the truly lazy, stores sell the fluff in jars. This leads to the travesty of Thanksgiving Sweet Potato Stuff.

"When the U.S. government made emergency food shipments to starving people in Afghanistan shortly after the fall of the Taliban, one of the "food" items included were boxes of Pop Tarts."

While it is true that large quantities of Pop-Tarts were shipped, it was part of a weapons package. A well-thrown Pop-Tart is far more deadly than a shuriken, and some of the fillings are lethal blood toxins (that conveniently break down in digestive acids). I once witnessed my sensei behead three ninjas with a single toss of a blueberry frosted, which had not even been toasted yet!

And for the truly lazy, stores sell the fluff in jars.

That isn't for the "truly lazy"; it's for making a decent pan of fudge.

This is the best political discussion I've ever read. Sure, there's the same name-calling as before, but now the generalizations are somehow tied to how people eat Pop Tarts and/or S'Mores. I would sell my firstborn into slavery if it meant I could hear this being discussed (straight-faced) on the Diane Rheme show.

Now my problem is that I can't figure out whether or not I should be Liberal or Conservative. I don't like S'Mores, but it's because I don't like marshmallows to be cooked (I eat one raw mallow at every campfire I attend), and I dislike the over-sweetened substance known as milk chocolate. I also don't like Pop Tarts. One would think that all this disliking of things would make me a Conservative (so the stereotype goes), but I tend to like animals, and even some people, which shifts me towards the Liberal side of the scale. I also don't like S'Mores, a classic American institution if ever there was one, which suggests Liberal. I'm so confused.

Anony-mouse, I'm pretty sure that East Coasters actually have mountains, but as none of them are located inside major cities, they never go see them. It's the midwesterners like me who have to make such a long trip out of camping in the mountains that we seldom do so.

I wonder what a s'more would taste like if you used caramel chocolate digestives?

gotta try that....

'That isn't for the "truly lazy"; it's for making a decent pan of fudge.'-Posted by anony-mouse

I was very skeptical of that until I tried some. It was very good. I don't think it was as good as the commercial stuff, but it is much better than the burned, lumpy, superfund site that usually resulted when someone I knew decided "Hey, let's make fudge"

d. cous:

We can read more into your dislike of milk chocolate: you're clearly a European socialist. What kind do you prefer? If Cadbury, you're clearly a Labour-type. If Lindt, then Green?

Pop-Tarts are the worst food substance on the planet (and I've eaten Haggis, Nato and Vegimite). How you can actually eat that is beyound me.

Agree, dear Kate, except for the minor quibble that use of the phrase "food subsance" above assumes facts not in evidence as the TV lawyers like to say.

I also wonder if perhaps the "Nato" reference wasn't intended to be "Nutella?" If so, I completely understand your disinclination to hold such a thought in your head even long enough to get the word out. No hit, no foul, say I.

I'm pretty sure that the paste in the middle of pop tarts is the same stuff regardless of the flavor

Quite so, T. Like Velveeta "cheese" the mysterious interior substance of Pop Tarts has no agricultural provenance whatsoever. As with Velveeta, it emerges from a large-diameter pipe somewhere in the Jersey meadowlands awaiting only the addition of minor adulterants to "color" and "flavor" it before - eck - "use."

Seriously people, unless you have a roof in need of patching, Pop Tarts are of no use whatsoever to human beings.

Two words: Toaster Strudel

Nuff said.

Of course, the REAL question is what "pop tart" might mean in British slang.

Whatever the exact interpretation is, I'm fairly certain the Brits have outlawed it already.

Surely he meant natto, fermented soybeans (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natto), which, IMO, makes even haggis look like a tasty fun sensible foodstuff.

And I would like to put solid votes in for Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts and real-made-on-a-campfire s'mores.

I'll see your haggis and raise you a lutefisk. The joys of a Scotts/Norwegian mixed parentage.

Are marshmallows seriously only a North American phenomenon? I had no idea. Forget campfires, what do European children melt in their hot chocolate while they're at the local rink watching hockey?

We certainly have marshmellows to melt in our hot chocolate here in Australia.

Except for the real lefties, who regard chocolate as the product of exploited third world labour.

--"I also wonder if perhaps the "Nato" reference wasn't intended to be "Nutella?""

Nah, he meant natto (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natto). It's a Japanese dish made from fermented soy beans. Must be smelled to be believed, and it is quite the puzzle as to how anyone with a functional sense of smell can get close enough to taste it.

"It's a Japanese dish made from fermented soy beans. "

Do you ever think about the first person who decided,"You know what would make this stuff even better? If we left it under a rock for 6 months and then ate it!"

I figure half of these people were killed off by their tribe. Forty per cent killed off their whole tribe with food poisoning. Ten per cent were driven out of their tribe. Of that last batch, a tenth survived and were witnessed tripping on mind altering fermented whatever and made shaman.

I'll see your haggis and raise you a lutefisk.

I call.

Casu Marzu.

OK, wait, I've had smores at your house. You instigated smore-making. You ate several, seemingly voluntarily. Whence this aversion?

Okay I think everyone is way out of line here. I would have you know that pop tarts--like the strawberry ones I love--are made from organically grown strawberries harvested by hand at the peak of freshness.

After picking, they are walked to the artisanal baker down the road, who gently crafts a delicate yet firm crust to surround the fruit mixture. For extra sweetness in the fruit, he adds a bit of honey, harvested from bees native to the area. (Each bee individually massaged, but allowed every other day off for travel).

After cooking, the items are sent immediately to Connecticut where Martha Stewart hand designs each box with the help of her staff of craft apprentices.

Only then are the poptarts shipped overnight by rickshaw (to insure moist freshness) to your local store, there for your pleasure.

It amazes me how people get stuff so wrong.

And don't even get me started on marshmellows, which taste awesome in hot chocolate, and which elves at a certain American company make, usually during the 20% of work time they are given to work on side projects.

The ignorance on this blog is blatent.

(Oh, and all the non-fruit flavored pop tarts are revolting, and the topping not much better. I love the strawberry and blueberry sans frosted bird droppings).

"or the brats you are roasting also on sticks

Well, if they were so poorly behaved in the first place, why did you take them on a camping trip?"

Emergency food supply, or a chance to get rid of them without being caught.

Seriously, my kids magically became non-brats on camping trips. But it is quite true that food tastes better when it is preceded by a great deal of fresh air and exercise. Farm labor will also give you quite an appetite, but somehow the best (subjectively) meals I ever ate didn't make up for the backbreaking work and low pay.

OTOH, I think brook trout properly pan-fried at the streamside inherently tastes better - fresh-water fish aren't flavored by the oils in the algae that are at the bottom of the salt-water food chain, trout should taste better than bottom-feeders like catfish, and fish aren't truly fresh unless you can eat them just minutes after they stop flopping.

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