July 9, 2007
From the desk of Jane Galt:Oh well
I had what I thought was a clever idea to avoid that move-in-day need to run to the grocery store six times for stuff you don't have. I would simply order stuff from Amazon.com's newfangled grocery service.
That is, until a friend pointed out that they only sell things in, like, 87-packs. Since I'm moving into one of those charming, cozy DC apartments--what a real estate agent brightly referred to as "New York Style"--I don't really have room for eight cans of baking powder. But who does? Baking powder goes a long way. And it doesn't last forever. I'm a compulsive baker--so if I can't use eight tins of baking powder before they go bad, I find it hard to imagine who can.
Which brings me to another random observation: real estate agents in DC are bizarrely bad liars. They put ads up on Craigslist advertising both that things are "In the heart of Columbia Heights" and "Two blocks from the Petworth metro stop". It's strangely pointless, since anyone who reads the ad, or clicks on the Google Maps, will immediately see just how far the place is from "the heart of Columbia Heights". They describe apartments as "large, airy one bedrooms", when said apartments wouldn't pass for spacious in the heart of Manhattan. And I don't mean they say these things in deceptive ads designed to rope you in; they say them while you are standing there, with one elbow in the bathroom, and the other one rubbing up against the living room window with the view of the air shaft.
My favourite such incident was the basement apartment I looked at last week. (Washington DC one-bedrooms are almost all in basements, or soulless high rises. My future abode was chosen largely on the basis of its being above ground. And to hell with the wonderful insulating properties of the earth.)
The apartment was marvelously cheap: $1633 for a one-bedroom with a parking space near Dupont Circle. It had just one little problem, which is that in order to enter it I had to bend myself nearly double; as you passed under the stairs of the rowhouse above, the distance from ground to stair was about four feet. That's annoying, but I could live with it. I don't actually spend that much time in my doorway.
However. The . . . I don't know what to call it--vestibule? Foyer? Front room? Whatever it was, it had an awfully low ceiling. In fact, the ceiling was just about exactly 74 inches off the ground. I can tell you this so precisely because as I stood in this room, the top of my head was touching the ceiling.
Whereupon the apartment manager who was showing it smiled gaily at me and said "Isn't it lovely? You don't usually get these high ceilings in basement apartments!"
The only explanation I have for this behaviour is that she was practicing that Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi mind thing. If so, she wants a bit of practice. I didn't take the apartment. But I'm still wondering who she rents her other basement apartments to. Is there a powerful midget lobby in DC?
Posted by Jane Galt at July 9, 2007 4:52 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links"); ?>Oh my! I've always wondered about that mind control thing, but this is an amazing example of it.
You're starting the kitchen from scratch, other than some dry spices in storage? Ack! Sorry!
You know, they have WEGMANS there!! If that's gonna work for you, let me know.
Posted by: Michael Tinkler on July 9, 2007 5:17 PMno the jedi mind trick thing just can't take in those 74 inches... they already had you believeing that $1633 was a good price so that was the mind trick thing... now imagine you at 67"... suddenly the ceilings are low but manageable... and $1633 is a steal, especially since somebody really tall passed on it... ;)
could be worse, they could be transferring you to Tokyo...
Posted by: D on July 9, 2007 6:04 PM10 years ago I lived in a townhouse in Foggy Bottom, 1380 I St, which had one such basement apartment (I lived above-ground.) An extremely obese naked guy from the wilds of Alaska rented the basement apartment.
You may think this is a joke but I'm quite serious. It was very odd, especially when we (the above-ground tenants) had parties.
As for the ads--they don't sound any different than what you find in NYC.
Posted by: Dave on July 9, 2007 6:22 PMThe irony is that Tokyo apartment rents have fallen massively over the past 15 years - I can't imagine you're dropping 200,000 yen for a tiny one bedroom there.
Posted by: cure on July 9, 2007 6:46 PMMan, am I ever glad I moved away from the coast. $1600 is considerably more than the monthly payment on my rather spacious 1-BR condo on the Chicago lakefront.
Posted by: Independent George on July 9, 2007 6:56 PM$1633 per month is cheap ????????????????????
Good God!! Am I glad to be living in flyover country. I'm paying $1250 per month for a 4-bedroom house with a 2-car detached garage and a 1.5 acre fenced yard. ... Oh, and did I mention that it's withing walking distance of a National Forest trailhead, and about a 15 minute drive from the center of a very low-crime college town with a population of about 30,000 which has a half dozen good supermarkets, as well as WalMart, Target, Borders, Home Depot, etc., etc.
Megan, try Peapod grocery delivery from Giant. They're pretty good, have a decent selection of organics, and promo codes are readily available. I believe "TRUCK" will get you $15 of free groceries.
Posted by: Lane on July 9, 2007 7:42 PMYes, you are so right about DC real estate agents.
"Walking distance to metro" = 23 day forced death march to metro station.
"One light to DC" = Front Royal, VA
//Front Royal is 75 miles out I-66//
Hopefully NYC prepared you for DC's tax rate and less-than-inspiring city services.
Posted by: Anon E. Mouse on July 9, 2007 9:30 PMreal estate agents in DC are bizaarely bad liars
And those elsewhere aren't?
Posted by: Peter on July 9, 2007 10:11 PMMaybe it's all a very subtle sense of humour that went over your head (boom boom).
Posted by: doctorpat on July 9, 2007 10:38 PMAnd I suppose you still don't want to hear that $1633 would get you a much nicer, larger, two-bedroom apartment literally walking distance from a Metro stop on the Orange Line over the Potomac in VA, do you?
Posted by: John Thacker on July 10, 2007 4:16 AM"Is there a powerful midget lobby in DC?"
You are, er, in a town full of politicians, aren't you? OK, so that's moral midgets, but still a fairly powerful lobby.
"The only explanation I have for this behaviour is that she was practicing that Obi-Wan Kenobi Jedi mind thing."
You could be a Hutt, they're immune to Jedi mind control. Just a thought.
My brother owns a house in DC with what could be called a 1 bedroom apartment in the basement -- it's more like a holding cell. The ceilings are low, there's no light, and there's not a single plumb or level thing in there.
Posted by: mjpaci on July 10, 2007 8:54 AMAs someone already mentioned, give Giant a shot for grocery delivery. Safeway also delivers groceries, however they seem to be rather unreliable.
Posted by: Christian on July 10, 2007 9:09 AMYou've rented in NYC and DC real estate agents surprise you?
Posted by: joe on July 10, 2007 9:14 AMhere in LA I once a listing for "mid-wilshire" (a nice neighborhood) that was actually in macarthur park (a crack-infested hellhole eight miles east of mid-wilshire).
likewise, in central jersey there's a saying that to real estate agents, "princeton" is anything east of the delaware river.
Posted by: Gabriel on July 10, 2007 9:45 AMRealtors are obviously all burned-out, jaded, old press secrataries.
Posted by: Njorl on July 10, 2007 10:02 AMAt 74 inches your head brushed the ceiling?
Six foot two? You're quite a tall woman.
Posted by: Jeff on July 10, 2007 12:37 PMFor a basement, 74" is pretty tall. Basements, especially ones not originally intended to be lived in, tend to have shorter ceilings.
I add all of this to my long list of reasons to be glad I never intend to live east of the Rockies, let alone in DC.
My mortgage payment is under $600, for a 1200sf house with separate garage, a block and a half from the light rail stop, here in Portland.
Posted by: Sigivald on July 10, 2007 1:10 PMJane
I suggest you download a paper 'The Market for Lemons' by George Akerlof.
If there is any chance that an uninformed buyer will be persuaded by the salesman to take the product, by his lies, then it is optimal for that salesman to lie.
See also car salesmen, and any non-repeated game.
The market settles into a dishonest suboptimal equilibrium.
Hence you have to create discovery mechanisms: for purchase, building survey, title search etc. These add to transactions costs.
In rental, the market couldn't bear it. So lying is his best strategy-- it might work.
Posted by: Valuethinker on July 10, 2007 1:50 PM" it's more like a holding cell. The ceilings are low, there's no light, and there's not a single plumb or level thing in there."
...secure, cozy, private, Avant-garde architecture...
Posted by: Njorl on July 10, 2007 2:27 PMNjorl:
I am still laughing. Thanks for making my morning!
Posted by: mjpaci on July 13, 2007 9:01 AMDr Pat posited:
"Maybe it's all a very subtle sense of humour that went over your head (boom boom)."
Ceiling = 74", Megan = 74". Therefore the humor couldn't have gone over her head. It's wedged between her head and the ceiling. :-)
Megan, do you have a headache?
Posted by: Jonathan Bailey on July 14, 2007 11:55 AM