December 17, 2001
From the desk of Mindles H. Dreck:MTZ Religious Studies Department
Many some One of you has written in to critique the MTZ intelligence coup of the year - the overheard conversation between Osama and one of his men over a short-range radio. "How can virgins have The Clap?", the reader asks.
Actually, this hits on an important aspect of the unique interpretation of Islam that is Bin Ladenism. Several of OBL's wives have had venereal disease, including one that infected OBL on his wedding night - well, that particular wedding night. Explaining what at first seemed inexplicable, OBL proclaimed it a miracle and led a propagandaprayer session this new discovery - the miracle of Immaculate Infection subsequently became a canonical text of bin Ladenism. Unlike the one-time miracle of Immaculate Conception, true followers of OBL have reported many instances of this incredible sign from God. This is just one of the many reasons they have such faith in the justice of their cause.