Asymmetrical Information

From the desk of Mindles H. Dreck:

The Best Wing

I do enjoy The Justice League West Wing. In last night's episode, President Bartlett struts around the Wing beating all his staff simultaneously in Chess while singlehandedly defusing a frightening military escalation between Taiwan and China. Whatshisname, the sensitive one, repeatedly sends his secretary out in the cold to harass two voters in the critical early-voting town of Hartsfield's Landing (Dixwell Notch in West Wing disguise) before midnight. He shows his humanity at 11:45 by giving them permission to go vote for the other guy. Light relief is provided by pranks perpetrated on C.J. by the ultra-cool presidential intern. At the end of the show C.J. is shown wondering, (after her desk falls to the floor like someone pulling on a turtleneck) how long she will be "his bitch". Press secretaries say these sorts of things a lot to African American presidential interns in "real" West Wings. Because they are Dems, they have "street cred". If they were Republicans, they would, of course, be racists, although the point is moot because there would be no African-American interns.

The inexorable presidential chess beating is delivered on incredibly valuable antique Indian chess sets he has just received from the Indian Prime Minister and is doling out to his staff. Please, petty souls, let us not be bothered with the ethical implications here - Jeb Bartlett's generosity is pure. As he halfheartedly slaughters Sam and Toby at the ancient sport, he manages to both inspire Sam to think of running for President, and absorb some profound advice from Toby - "run smart, be intelligent vs. not, competent vs. not." This is generally how Republicans are described on the show: "not".

The grand chess game, of course, is the Kabuki-style drama playing out between Taiwan, China and the U.S. He doesn't say "Kabuki" because those come from Japan, so only nots would draw that analogy, because they are, well, not. Bartlett manages to pull it off without a moment's hesitation, trading away something he never intended to do (sell Aegis destroyers to Taiwan) in return for a general standing down in military exercises. Neither his chief of staff, nor his National Security Advisor are in on the whole game. Only Jeb has all the pieces in his Yucca Mountain-sized cranium. Thank God for the positive correlation between liberal thinking and individual brilliance. And don't bother us with details, our lapses are by-products of our overwhelming intelligence.

At the end, Sam looks at the President and says, in childish awe, "how do you do it". "I get good advice, see the whole board" Jeb says, glowing in the well-deserved adulation. "Don't be afraid, Sam, I have confidence in you." It is hard not to tremble in the assured yet humble presence of the Great One.

Toby reminds us that Bartlett is a nobel-prize winning economist turned democratic Governor and president, as well as a grandmaster at chess and the special early history edition of Trivial Pursuit. He is, in other words, Paul Krugman's destiny. But Bartlett reminds us, in thundering Puritan tones, "I AM folksy". Bartlett wanders around the White House stunning everyone with his overweening knowledge of first century metallurgy, chemistry, the history of South Asia and the footnotes of the great philosophers, pausing only to take a quick breath before bringing up some new hairball of relevant historical anecdotes. By God, this is the presidency as it must be when the right guy was is in office.

I am especially grateful to Aaron Sorkin for pointing out that the Brokaw special on Bush was "a valentine" romanticizing the Bush white house in a fawning and dishonest way. Brokaw showcased the President as competent, Sorkin reminds us he is not.

In the next episode, I forecast, Bartlett will prove Goldbach's Conjecture while reconfiguring most of central Africa along tribal lines and convincing the dictators there to come live in Brentwood. He will also fix up C.J. with a boyfriend (who will be one foot shorter than her, like the rest of the staff) he encounters during translation of his memoirs into esperanto, show the token Coulterish hottie in Counsel's office a thing or two about feminism and give the chairman of the Federal Reserve a lesson on how education affects interest rates. His mathematical temerity will cause him problems on the campaign trail as the not party takes the opportunity to show how out-of-touch he is with the VCR buying, Goldbach's Conjecture-is-unproveable arm of the public. He shows his human side by having a cigarette and losing his temper with his long-suffering wife (recently renamed Jonas Salk II), in a heated argument about the effects of leather crafting technology on the development of renaissance monastic garments.

A whole week of News-inspired fantasy ahead of me before Sorkin straightens me out on the oxymoron of Republican Intelligence again. How will I wait?

Robert Musil has more Sorkin-related thoughts.

Posted by Mindles H. Dreck at February 28, 2002 06:25 AM | Technorati inbound links