Asymmetrical Information

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Half brother says bin Laden is alive and well:

"We grew up together in the same house," he said. "Osama is known for being a simple person, very merciful, a very soft heart. It's impossible that anyone would sit with him and not like him or get bored. Frankly, Osama is very close to the heart and very popular."

...Whatever his brother's fate, Sheikh Ahmad said he would like to portray his brother should Hollywood ever make a movie about him.

Attempting to reconcile the Sheikh's comments renders the term 'hypocrisy' utterly inadequate. The Onion couldn't have written this.