November 12, 2002
From the desk of Mindles H. Dreck:Phar-Phetched Physiognomy
"What does Colin Powell say when you tell him this?" The diplomat then did an imitation of Mr. Powell raising his eyebrows as if to say, " `You know what I believe, and you know I can't do anything about it with the crazies in this administration.' "
So let me get this straight: This is Thomas Friedman interpreting a gesture made by an unnamed "European Diplomat" imitating The Times' hero Colin Powell. Remind me not to challenge Friedman and his well-placed pals to a friendly game of charades.
The other day I was talking to an "Editor at the Times." I asked him about how William Safire felt about the columnists keeping him company on the Op-Ed page. He seemed to imitate Safire taking a deep breath as if to say "you know Dowd's gone batty and Krugman is a tabloid economist at best, but what can I do with nuts like Howell Raines running the show?"
Later in the day I lunched with a "Congressional Aide" who knows Pat Moynihan well. I asked him what Pat thought about the Democratic Party's prospects. He did what I thought was an imitation of Moynihan falling to the ground and grasping his throat, as if to say "There are some smart Democrats, but the party has its head so completely up the arses of the tort bar and other members of the cult of victimology there's little hope."
Then I realized he was choking on a piece of tortilla chip and performed the Heimlich Maneuver. Still, it was a pretty convincing Moynihan.
Over dinner I interviewed a "Palestinian Diplomat." I asked him what Chairman Arafat really felt about all these suicide bombings. He did an imitation of the Chairman giving a big thumbs up as if to say "Hey, how else can I keep all these bozos from figuring out who's responsible for the majority of their suffering and stringing me up by the toes?"
Politicians and diplomats are such wonderful mimics!
Posted by Mindles H. Dreck at November 12, 2002 09:24 PM | Technorati inbound links