March 21, 2004

silhouette3.JPG From the desk of Mindles H. Dreck:

Old News, New Excuses

I had a friend in high school famous for his B.S. On our final day of discussion of Crime and Punishment he weighed in, although several of us knew he had not finished the book:

"When Raskalnikov dies," he said, looking around the room and suddenly realizing that all eyebrows are raised, "...in a metaphorical sense, I mean..."

As I suspected (check the comments), the "World's Largest Snake" turned out to be less than half the fifty-feet length claimed. Its keepers, however, are making a bid for the B.S. hall of fame.

"I have no idea why the snake has shrunk," said one keeper when asked about the discrepancy, as the snake lounged on a tree branch inside its cage.
"Look, you must understand that a python's length is not constant," explains Darmanto, the owner and handler of Fragrant Flower. Fragrant Flower is the reticulated python found living in a tourism park in central Java which was last week touted as the longest and heaviest snake ever captured - 14.85m and 447kg. "Depending on the weather, on how recently he has eaten and when he last shed his skin, Fragrant can stretch and contract a great deal. A few days ago he stretched himself out halfway round the cage."
Unfortunately for Darmanto, his skills may become as obsolete as abacus dexterity. Posted by Mindles H. Dreck at March 21, 2004 08:51 AM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links
Comments

Unfortunately for Darmanto, his skills may become as obsolete as abacus dexterity.

Mindles, you must be living in a dream world if you think BS skills will ever become obsolete.

I like to think that St. Peter screens out the worst offenders before we pass through the Pearly Gates... but I have my doubts.

Posted by: PJ/Maryland on March 21, 2004 10:33 AM

You can't measure a live snake.

Posted by: shamus on March 21, 2004 01:21 PM

Sure you can, with much more accuracy than required here. I've done it myself with constrictors up to 14 feet.

Posted by: "Mindles H. Dreck" on March 21, 2004 04:06 PM

My point was more philosophical than physical. I'm glad that you've been able to spend quality time with reptiles. It should be possible to measure within an accuracy of less than a foot.

Posted by: shamus on March 21, 2004 04:58 PM

I see, kind of a Hissenberg Uncertainty Principle.

Posted by: "Mindles H. Dreck" on March 22, 2004 09:59 AM

"...a python's length is not constant."

Was that his inner Beavis or his inner Butthead talking?

Uhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh.

Posted by: Flash Bazbo on March 22, 2004 01:33 PM

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