January 10, 2005

silhouette3.JPG From the desk of Jane Galt:

Losing weight the "Witness" way. . .

The Amish Diet:

The Stoltzfus Beach Diet is based on a simple principle: If you work from sunrise to sunset, grow your own food and live without electricity, you can eat pretty much anything you want without gaining a pound.

In fact, in our specially designed three-phase plan, you'll actually lose weight. Like dumplings? No problem! Can't seem to lick that craving for lard? Pile it on. Potatoes, starch, and shoofly pie? Have seconds! Go ahead, it's all part of the plan.

Phase 1: Banishing Your Cravings. Eliminate your cravings for electricity, cars, machinery and popular culture. You'll lose 8 to 13 pounds in the first two weeks just by walking, and planting a half-acre garden. Milking a cow every morning and night is also great for burning fat. Meanwhile, eat lard and starch in moderation.

Phase 2: Reintroducing Electricity. Gradually reintroduce "good" electricity into your diet (NPR "News Hour with Jim Lehrer") and selected cultural diversions (books). You'll lose 1 to 2 pounds a week, and never have trouble buttoning your pants again - in fact, there are no buttons on this diet.

Phase 3: Maintaining Your Ideal Weight. Continue working the fields, milking cows and walking, and maintain your weight - and your lard jones - forever.

Posted by Jane Galt at January 10, 2005 02:33 PM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links
Comments

And don't forget the shape you'll be in during the winter when you sprint to and fro from the outhouse.

Posted by: AllenS on January 10, 2005 03:09 PM

I have always wanted to be Amish. Query: are zippers plain? I know buttons aren't, but I'd understood that's because they're too decorative, not too high-tech. A nice invisible zipper, though higher-tech than buttons, isn't decorative at all.

Next query: how do the Amish do pressure canning, or do they? Boiling-water bath canning is easy with no special equipment, but can you create a pressure cooker with a gasket of... I don't know, wood or something, or without a gasket at all? Else, how does one preserve foods that aren't safe to preserve by boiling-water bath, or does one accept the risks as part of the simple life? I am not being facetious; I'm truly curious.

Posted by: Jamie on January 10, 2005 04:52 PM

Oooh, Jamie, here is a site you will love:

http://www.lehmans.com/

Lehman's has a beautiful website but it also genuinely caters to Amish as well as homesteaders and suchlike. I bought my grain mill from them.

But I think you may have some misperceptions about the Amish. As I understand it, there isn't a 'we don't use technology invented after the year X' mentality, but more of a item-by-item conclusion of whether a piece of technology builds up or breaks down the community - not to mention there are different Amish groups that have different sets of what they consider acceptable tech.

Do a search on "Amish" and "cellphones" and you'll see what I mean.

And I would bet they all think a pressure canner with a regular rubber gasket is OK.

Posted by: Atlantic on January 10, 2005 05:24 PM

Jamie, it has nothing to do with technology or decoration. Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Posted by: Kevin on January 11, 2005 06:03 AM

A pressure canner allows a higher temperature (240 degrees if I recall)than a water bath canner (about 218 degrees),making it effective in preserving low acid foods. High acid foods naturally have some resistance to the spores that cause spoilage, low acid foods don't.Presto makes heavy aluminum canners with a gasket and knobs around the lid to clamp the lid down securely while in use, with a pressure gauge on top.All home produce should be pressure canned.

Posted by: rmarks on January 11, 2005 08:24 AM

The Amish attempted to stop time in 1900. The clothes and technology were common to everyone prior to then.

Posted by: rmarks on January 11, 2005 08:26 AM

Re the Amish and pressure canning: I read an interview with an Amish woman commenting on the current USDA regs re "safe" home processing of food. She said something like, "Well, if we went through all that to preserve food we wouldn't do it either!" They use their traditional methods and accept the risk.

Posted by: cc on January 11, 2005 10:43 AM

Oh, and rmarks comment that "All home produce should be pressure canned" is a stupid statment, contradicted by his/her earlier words. Not even current USDA standards recommend that. Jams and tomato products (whole, juice, puree) can be safely processed in a boiling water bath.

Posted by: cc on January 11, 2005 10:47 AM

I'm totally jazzed that my pressure-cooker thing has sparked such a fine discussion! Thank you all for the facts & commentary. I did know that there's no specific barrier to technology per se among the Amish - but I thought the criterion was Biblical rather than community-oriented, so thanks for the clarification. I also knew that there exist communities of differing tolerance to various technologies, but I'd kind of assumed that those calling themselves "Amish" (as opposed to, say, Mennonite, etc.) would have a consistent catalog of acceptable tech - so thank you for that too.

I'm surprised no one nailed me on my big gaffe: "If you've always wanted to be Amish, what are you doing here?" And there's the rub, friends and neighbors.

A recent move puts me only an hour or so from Lancaster County - another reason for me to be jazzed!

Posted by: Jamie on January 11, 2005 10:24 PM

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