October 04, 2005
From the desk of Jane Galt:If you have any fantasies about a pastoral past full of sunshine and sweet moments, unsullied by the grim industrial monuments of the current day, this should disabuse you:
From the Omaha Herald in 1877:
1. The best seat inside a stagecoach is the one next to the driver ... you will get less than half the bumps and jars than on any other seat. When any old "sly Elph," who traveled thousands of miles on coaches, offers through sympathy to exchange his back or middle seat with you, don't do it.2. Never ride in cold weather with tight boots or shoes, nor close-fitting gloves. Bathe your feet before starting in cold weather, and wear loose overshoes and gloves two or three sizes too large.
3. When the driver asks you to get off and walk, do it without grumbling. He will not request it unless absolutely necessary. If a team runs away, sit still and take your chances; if you jump, nine times out of ten you will be hurt.
4. In very cold weather, abstain entirely from liquor while on the road; a man will freeze twice as quick while under its influence.
5. Don't growl at food stations; stage companies generally provide the best they can get. Don't keep the stage waiting; many a virtuous man has lost his character by so doing.
6. Spit on the leeward side of the coach. If you have anything to take in a bottle, pass it around; a man who drinks by himself in such a case is lost to all human feeling. Provide stimulants before starting; ranch whisky is not always nectar. Don't smoke a strong pipe inside especially early in the morning.
7. Don't swear, nor lop over on your neighbor when sleeping. Don't ask how far it is to the next station until you get there.
8. Never attempt to fire a gun or pistol while on the road, it may frighten the team; and the careless handling and cocking of the weapon makes nervous people nervous. Don't discuss politics or religion, nor point out places on the road where horrible murders have been committed.
9. Don't linger too long at the pewter wash basin at the station. Don't grease your hair before starting or dust will stick there in sufficient quantities to make a respectable 'tater' patch. Tie a silk handkerchief around your neck to keep out dust and prevent sunburns. A little glycerin is good in case of chapped hands.
10. Don't imagine for a moment you are going on a pic-nic; expect annoyance, discomfort and some hardships. If you are disappointed, thank heaven.
Posted by Jane Galt at October 4, 2005 11:06 AM | TrackBack | Technorati inbound links
"Don't keep the stage waiting; many a virtuous man has lost his character by so doing"
Just what is being implied with this sentence?
I read that to mean no matter how good you are, people are going to say unpleasant things about you if you make them late. (You'll have lost your good reputation.)
Posted by: GearDaddy on October 4, 2005 11:57 AM"Don't keep the stage waiting; many a virtuous man has lost his character by so doing"
Just what is being implied with this sentence?
That's easy. Punctuality is, and has been for well over a century, one of the foundation qualities of proper behavior in American society. This is particularly true among the middle class.
A person who is late, whether consistently or sporatically, is showing little respect for the people around them.
Posted by: Off Colfax on October 4, 2005 02:19 PMAnother example of why the good old days were not actually that good.
Posted by: TJIT on October 4, 2005 03:32 PMOver at Snopes, they're not sure if this one is authentic or not. (The version they have up is interestingly less descriptive and more compressed than this one.)
Given that most of these old-time lists haven't panned out, I'd be suspicious of this one unless someone at what's now the Omaha World-Herald can dig it out of their files. Mind you, I'm not advocating a return to 1877 in any form. . .
Posted by: Derek Lowe on October 4, 2005 03:45 PMWhether authentic or not, it's an accurate but understated description of the conditions. If you want an approximation of the stagecoach ride, take the shock absorbers off an old pickup truck and drive at 10 to 15 mph down a road that's all potholes. I also suspect that even if the stage companies did supply the best they could get at the food stations, there were still many meals that a modern skid row bum wouldn't eat.
Posted by: markm on October 4, 2005 06:43 PMAttributing this "guide" to 1877 makes me suspicious of its authenticity. The transcontinental railroad was completed (well, the two ends were connected) in 1869, and passed through Omaha. I'm sure there were places you had to take a stage coach to, just as now there are places you can't fly to, but I'd think the era of the long stage coach ride was ending.
Also, what's with getting out and walking? I thought Nebraska was pretty flat.
Posted by: PJ/Maryland on October 4, 2005 08:59 PMPJ: The stagecoach lines filled in the hundreds of miles between the rail lines.
While Nebraska doesn't have mountains, it does have hills. At least, the area around my grandmother's house in Lincoln was certainly hilly. Remember that a stagecoach was an 8 passenger vehicle (at least), usually propelled by only 4 horsepower. It didn't take too much of a hill to require lightening the load.
Posted by: markm on October 5, 2005 07:53 AMReminds me of a description of a man by my Father.
He could drive an unspung wagon across frozen,
plowed ground with one hand and roll a cigarette with the other hand.
My dad went "courting" on horseback in Kentucky in the 1930s. Of course, when he left the girls house he could go to sleep on the back of the horse and wake up when the horse entered the barn at home.
It is hard to imagine how life has changed in just a couple of generations.
Posted by: spencer on October 5, 2005 02:15 PMSimilarly, PJ O'Rourke has one word for those who pine for the "good old days": Dentistry.
Posted by: Tom McMahon on October 8, 2005 11:52 AMPJ: The rail line did pass through Omaha, but that was no help at all if you needed to travel to some place that wasn't on the line. If you wanted to go north or south, horseback or stage was your only option for a few more years, and even then their coverage was not as good as Interstate highways today.
Posted by: Larry on October 8, 2005 08:33 PMErr, the *railroad* coverage was not as good as Interstates today. Preview is my friend, now if I would only remember that!
Also, think how long covering a stretch between Interstates today would take at stagecoash speeds. Having just driven from Montana to Texas, all I can say is "Uggh!"
Posted by: Larry on October 8, 2005 08:36 PMComments are Closed.